I'm a hetro male, and I'm currently in a relationship with a transgendered woman. I love her very much and she has been getting to know my family. We are moving in togeather in a couple weeks. My only concern is that my family will start to reach out to her family and find out about her past. My girlfriend wants to keep it a secret but I'm thinking it might be better to tell my family before they find out second hand. I love her very much, just not sure when the best time to tell my family, and I don't want to stress the relationship between me and her in any way. Whats your opinion?
Hi and welcome to EC I tend to think that as long as your girlfriend doesn't feel ready to disclose that part of her past to your family, it's probably better to respect her wish. Maybe the best thing would be so far to let her family members know that she is not ready yet to come out to your family. In any case, that is something you're going to have to discuss with your girlfriend first. You're probably right that at some point, it's going to be better for her to be out to your family, at least to your parents and siblings if you have some. But she needs to be on board with this, because it's a very intimate part of her past that is going to be disclosed then, and it's very understandable that she is apprehensive. Here is a link to a Pflag booklet that might be helpful when you're going to let your family know : http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202 I hope this can help a little. Take care, Cécile
It's never a good idea to out someone against their wishes. Let her come out to your family when she's ready to.
