I am not very good at this stuff (posting about myself and problems) but I feel stuck right now and have no clue where to go from here. I am out to one person and that would be my sister. I told her because I don't have many friends, well not the true friends, and because we are pretty close. When I told her (via text message) she made answer questions about myself that I would only know. She then told me that I was just going through a phase. A few weeks went by and I hadn't talk to her so I facebook chatted with her but stayed away from any gay conversation (I thought if she wants to talk about it she can when she's ready not only that but to show her I was the same person). I did this for a few weeks. So a few more weeks go by and I just can't stop thinking about my gayness (sorry I don't know how else to describe it other then that) and it is kind of depressing me, that and I was also contemplating if is should go to a GSA meeting. Well there happens to be a girl that I went to high school with and I am not ready to be out to really anyone let alone this girl from my home town (very small hick town) and I don't trust this girl at all. On top of that I was crushing on a boy that was in one of my classes. So I was some what depressed and during one of my chats with my sister I told her that I had better days and naturally she asks what's wrong and I didn't go into detail like here but noted that the problems were gay themed. And with that she told me it was a phase again. Now I let a few more weeks go by I chat with my sister every now and then but mostly about school stuff you know the kind of talk that family members talk to you about when ever they have nothing to say. So about a week ago I told my sister I was thinking about coming out to my mom ( my mom loves glee and lady gaga and she thinks what lady gaga is doing is great with the be who you are thing) so this time my sister doesn't go right into saying its a phase but goes the route of you have never been with a boy or a girl so don’t label yourself. So I suppose this is where my problem lies I want to come out but like she said I haven't been with anyone not really and I think if I do come out and then finding out I'm straight I would feel like a jackass. Also I am starting at a new school and not sure if I am comfortable enough with myself to go to any GSA thing but I want to be out I have already told myself that I am not going to deny it if asked but that doesn't go very far. Sorry for the length and rambling and any grammar errors.
Okay, take a deep breath You're doing pretty well in the whole coming out/self-acceptance way, so kudos to you for that. Your sister is wrong. You don't need to be with anyone to know your sexuality. Nobody says that to straight kids. Also, your sister telling you that your attraction to guys is a phase is wrong of her to do too. Only you know where your attractions lie and it sounds like she's got some problem with LGBT people in general or just with you being gay. I think you should ask her. Also, if you are ready to come out to your mom and you are at that point where you feel comfortable with yourself enough to share it with her, then you should do it. It's about you and how you feel not about what your sister said. Is the girl from your high school in the GSA? If she is, then I wouldn't worry about her outing you. Either she's a straight ally or she's LGBT herself and generally those people understand the need to tell people your sexuality yourself. GSA is a great place to meet some people who get it. And they can become friends at your new school too. It's always nice to get involved when you start a new school. It makes the experience a lot better, in my opinion. So, I guess, in short. Come out to your mom if you feel like that's what you want to do (and it sounds like you do). Talk to your sister about how she's making you feel and about the misconceptions she has about you being gay. (so basically, why does she's think it's a phase and that you can know how you are feeling without being with anyone). Also, I strongly recommend popping into a GSA meeting. Even if you decide you don't feel comfortable going to a straight up meeting right away, see if you can find the email for the faculty advisor of the club and maybe talk to them a bit about it and ease yourself into the idea.
Your sister is wrong,you dont need to try it with both genders to know if you are gay.She maybe just hasnt thought the whole thing through,has she had to have encounters with both sexes to work out her sexual orientation? If you "know" that you are gay then it is up to you to come out to your mom when you feel comfortable doing so.The same goes for friends and family,it is up to you,as and when you feel that you can do it. When i came out to my dad,i got the whole"are you sure" "its your choice" kind of thing,very similar to your sister,i simply kept calm and explained that i never remember having a choice or being confused,its just how i am.I then asked dad if he ever "chose" to be straight,which seemed to get the message accross because he had to think about it in more depth. As far as having gay feelings but turning out to be straight,this does not happen very often but you could always make light of it and say that you have no attraction for the opposite sex at the moment,but if anything changes you will let them know type of conversation.This would leave a little room for manouver should the need arise. When people react as your sister has,it is often best to keep calm and try to educate them rather than arguing or ignoring them,they dont have the same feelings as you and need educating about your feeling being totaly natural and not something tha you have chosen to be differant.Ask them who would choose this,if the choice was there? Good luck and move at your own pace.
Hi~ This sounds pretty identical to what I went through, except I told my straight brother. I've had three conversations about me being gay with my brother in the last year (first person I came out to). I wouldn't worry about what your sister is saying. You're pretty much the only one who decides whether it's a phase or not (in total honesty, there is a segment of adolescences who go through a period of sexual experimentation that does not reflect their adult sexual orientation). But if you went to a GSA meeting over it, I'm thinking you're probably gay, and I don't even know you. Your sister is in denial, which is a completely normal reaction on her part. If you bring home a man, her tone will change. Okay, no. People know what sex they are attracted to WAY before they ever have sex with anyone. That goes for heterosexuals too. It's a physical reaction. If you have it to people who are the same biological sex as you, you're probably gay. If you're gay enough to attend a GSA meeting and you really do want to come out, I wouldn't worry about "going straight" later. If you're not gay, then you're probably not completely straight (more likely bi), and after coming out gay, nobody is going to be bothered with you if you say, "But I do like some women!" and date them in earnest. If I were you, I would come out to your mom. She probably suspects you are gay anyway - lots of moms just know. If she supports you - which it sounds like she will - then it will give you confidence to have someone in your corner.
