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My grandmother wishes I were dead

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GishaGrl, Nov 25, 2007.

  1. GishaGrl

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    :tears: :tears:
    I have had some pretty good challenges over this last year. I quit a job paying me 14 dollars and hour because a family member agreed to pay for my schooling. I moved out of state to stay with my grandparents leaving my very mature 19 year old behind. I got out of a relationship that was getting very smothering and now, i'm miserable. In an attempt to come out to my grandmother who i love dearly I said "would you rather I be gay or dead?" and much to my surprise she said dead. I don't think I can ever heal from that one, she's been in my corner for everything else in my life. :tears:
    My son has absolutely no problem with my sexuality. He actually told me he'd hate me if I went straight. Mind you he's straight.:eusa_doh:
    Since I've moved to NJ it seems that all of the gay people have been pushed permanently out of Newark. I can't find any gay clubs or organizations that might help me deal with some of my personal issues. It's been so crazy i'm seeking counseling.
    Now I understand why some gays kill themselves. As far as my family (not including my son) is concerned its be straight or alone for the rest of your life or we'll disown you or worst kill you. Who ever thinks being a spoiled kid is priceless, needs to take a better look at our price tags.:help:
     
  2. beckyg

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    Oh Gisha, I'm so sorry your grandmother said that to you. (*hug*) My guess is she's regretting it right now. Give her some time to think on things and talk to her again. We're here for you to talk to. Hang in there.
     
  3. CrimsonThunder

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    Oh you poor thing. :frowning2: I can't believe she would say something like that after all you've been through!! :frowning2:

    :hugs:

    Get better soon.
     
  4. panda

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    Gisha Girl ,There's lots of help here.Hang on.EC loves and cares about you
     
  5. Leon481

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    Sorry to hear that you're going through such hard times. (*hug*)

    Coming here is a good first step to getting the support you're looking for. This site has some of the most supportive people you will ever find on the internet.
     
  6. SRSLYMARK

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    SOMEONE NEEDS A HUG. (*hug*)

    I find what your grandmother said to be absolutely appalling. She'll come around, I'm sure.

    Stay strong! (!)
     
  7. Jim1454

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    Some people carry around a real "old world" mentality that just doesnt fit in with today's society. You're not the problem - they are. I know the reality is that we're still drawn to our family and rely on them for support, so if they aren't supportive we feel very alone. Hopefully they'll come around. Otherwise, stick it out til you've finished your schooling, and hit the road! There are better places to be.
     
  8. SweetChaos

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    We Love You!
     
  9. Rette

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    Sorry to hear that Gisha. In an attempt to lift your spirits at least some tiny iota, here's a picture of a kitten in a silly hat.

    [​IMG]

    Here's hoping she comes around.
     
  10. Louise

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    Nothing will ever take away the words that your grandma said but could you get her some resources to read so that she can learn about homosexuality and see that it isn't the horrendous thing she seems to think it is.

    There are loads of good books for parents of homosexuals which might help her come to terms with this.

    Give your grandma sometime with luck she will come round. She is still your grandma, the lady she was before you told her and she willl still be that lady. Put the words out of your mind, as much as possible because they will only cause a rift between you. Some things are best put to one side if you want to move on.(*hug*)
     
  11. Perrygay

    Perrygay Guest

    Well I don't really have anything to add, besides the advice to get the hell out of Newark (and anywhere in NJ) as quickly as you can.

    People seem to be "fleeing" Newark. Crime is terrible and the corruption in the city is unmatched anywhere else in this country. Hate crimes are also very common, which is most likely the reason gay people have left.
     
  12. MarkNYC

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    My grandmother hates me too. She met my boyfriend this weekend.

    Orthodox Jewish Grandmother + Redhead Musician boyfriend with tattoos and several piercings = AAAAAAAAAAAAH
     
  13. Shoshanna

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    She doesn't hate you Mark.


    You never mentioned tattoos...
     
  14. Zec24

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    I'm sorry to hear that your grandmother wishes you were dead rather than gay. I guess she has had time to deal with it, but you never know. Always keep an open-mind, don't perpetuate the hate. I would feel terrible if my grandparents react this way, but at the same time I don't expect too much right now, no one on my mother's side of the family is gay (or out about it at least) so its never been a topic of conversation so I don't know how they'd react. My dad's parents, well at least my grandmother is okay with it.
     
  15. SpikySpice

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    Im sorry for what happened(*hug*)

    I know it hurt, but at that tiem maybe she was just shocked or something, jut give her time, time will be the answer, and hope your scar will be healed