Hey everyone, I'm tylernc (or just Tyler, doesn't really matter...). Just introducing myself since I'm not really active on here. Anyways, I have a dilemma... I feel like I'm ready to come out to my family (Parents, brother) and my grandma, aunt and cousin who live next to us. I just don't know how to do it. I've wanted to on several occasions, but then pushed it aside. I was really close to telling my mom's best friend, who is like my brother (and also gay). But of course, I chickened out. I don't understand why I can't, because my family is very gay-friendly (my mom even goes to San Fran Pride!). I've grown tired of pretending I'm straight and I guess I'm just asking what the title says, how? Do I gather everyone up and tell them? (Which would be a little weird, because I'd have to talk and sign, since my parents are both deaf). So yeah. Any suggestions? Sorry for the rant. :icon_redf
To be honest, you are doing fine! Dont be so ashamed of yourself, its something that we are all afraid of. Considering how aware your parents are of the gay community, and how active they are, they probably already know. But if you are still unsure of their reactions, I would say that it is best to do it one on one. Try and tell your moms friend again, and perhaps start the conversation with "I have something important I need to tell you" and that will set things up for the big news. She will probably tell you that its ok, and that you should come out to you mom, and then she will give you advice and support on that as well. I would also advise doing the same thing with your parents. Its easier to come out to women then men, I can tell you that first of all, but it sounds like your parents are pretty cool about it anyways. remember you can always just tell them that you are just "not straight" and see how they react, and if they question further, then you can go into more detail. best of luck, you are almost there
Thanks. I'm hoping to get up the courage to tell my mom's friend by the end of the month, so we'll see how that goes.
Honestly in your situation, I wouldnt exactly set yourself up for a particular time. That will lead you up for disappointment. If you just enable yourself to do it when you are ready, then things will flow much simpler.
I know that crippling fear that you seem to describe. It's obnoxious really, my opinion is instead of setting up a date for yourself try and think of how far you've come from when you were too scared to tell him at all and pride yourself on it! Instead of focusing on how much you struggle with telling people pride yourself on each little stride you make. Words from my therapist. A very wise woman -nods-
Now that you guys say that, it makes more sense to come out when I'm ready and not having to feel like I have to come out Tuesday, next week, next month, whatever. So, thanks for the great advice.
