Hi Everyone so glad I found this site. So here goes my situation: I met someone at work recentley who I connected with on a seriously deep level. Everytime he would see me after our first initial introduction he would stop and talk to me and it was all the time! I thought he was really hot but I totally got a straight vibe from him before, I started talking to him but I have been wrong in the past because my gaydar is never on point. So anyways, one day he was doing his normal stop by and say hello for 20 minutes and my co-worker tells me, "I think he like you" and Im look, who? Me? NAhhhhh? he's totally straight, and she was like think again my friend I have good gaydar. So anyways, long story short I end up going to see him during his shift when I get off mine and we talk for hours, we exchange phone numbers and what I thought was going to be a phone call or text to talk about acting and such turns out to be daily phone calls from him...yes daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day first thing in the morning, and last at night if were both still up, we go to bed at the same and usually wake up the same time that is how in sync we are thats sort of knew there was something more going on here but still not trying to overanalyze or over think anything. The first week that I met him, I told him that I am bi-sexual after the fact that we had so many conversations about our ex girlfriends and past loves etc and that I am somewhat still trying to figure myself out and all that jazz...the reaction that I got from him was not what I was expecting, he was totally cool and calm it's like what I said went over his head he didnt flynch AT ALL! I thought the next day I wouldnt here from him, or that I might have freaked him out, it just didnt phase him. We've met up for lunch and dinner a few times and everytime he hugs me he just gives me these big lovable hugs and they are just nice, the love and openess that eminates from him just raptures me up into a state of calmness it's amazing. We talk everyday, we do dinners, he came to a friends party with me and we really bonded and at this point I really feel like we are dating, I'll give him little hints here and there but still no reaction. EVERYONE at works thinks he's gay and there have been slight mannerisms that I've noticed but dismissed right away, whenever we're in each others presence he has this glow about him and we just carry on with one another like no one else is in the room, and everyone looks at us and smiles at the energy that we put out...Anyways the suspense was killing me and one of my close friends decided to call him up on the pretense that she was interested in me and wanted to know his opinion of me. He tells her that we just became really good friends and that he thinks I'm awesome, and that if he were gay, he would totally date me because I have such a huge loving heart and that he really likes me alot! When my friend told me, I thought oh how sweet, but what straight guy would say something like that....I happened to hear the whole conversation and the tone in his voice when he talked about me was so loving with an air of excitement that I literally melted on the other line. I talked to him the next day, and he told me about the conversation and what he said, I told him that I was honored that he thought of me that way already and at this point we were like 2 weeks new into the friendship. Last week, we had plans and he took me to his old neighborhood where he grew up and we drove by his old house, and we went to the bluffs where he and his dad use to play when he was a kid, and we talked about the death of his father and at this point Im having an inner monologue in my head like, wow this guy is really opening up to me here! I'm being extremely cautious in regards to my feelings towards him, and day after day my walls are slowly breaking down, I am definitely open with him as to who I am and what I am about, but I am protecting my heart and even though he says he's "straight" I have a feeling that the closer we get and the fonder we are for each other that we can easily fall in love because of his sensitivity and his openness, he is an individual that has such a longing in his heart for love. I see myself in him because as masculine as we are we both have very soft emotional sides...mind you he's an aquarius and Ive been told that the men under the aquarius side do tend to be experimental and do sometimes being either bi or gay...of course that would be wishful thinking on my part, but I cant help but feel that there is something so special and so beautiful with this man, that I'm going to continue to be the loving person that he met in hopes that I can open his eyes to the possiblity of being in a loving and romantic relationship with a man. I feel like because Ive been so open with him that I am waiting for him to be open with me and I notice it when he calls me everyday, he just opens up more to me day to day because he does have a hard time expressing what exactly he's feeling, he mulls his feelings over in his head in order to get some sort of clarification. As I am writing this right now, my heart is fluttering and the image of his smile is engrained in my minds eye....I dont want to say yet that I am falling in love, but what is brewing here is so deep that it is worth the time to inverst in this further....my friends say that I should try to kiss him get him drunk etc.....but I dont want to do that because if indeed he is bi curious or just curious, because we're friends already I would want his sexual experience to happen out of love vs. pure lust even though he is uber lustworthy, that man has an ass and chest for days!!!!! So ladies and gents what are your thoughts?
Don't get him drunk. Sounds like he is opening up nicely on his own, just keep doing what you're doing. It'll either evolve naturally to the next level, or it won't. But don't push it, you wouldn't want to lose such a special friendship.
If only it's easy to ask, "Do you like me? As in like me like me?" I don't have any experience to help you but I think you should wait... I know I would
Yeah, this is a conversation you might end up having, but the outcome might be better for you if you deepen your friendship first. The closer you are emotionally, the more likely it is that he can look past your gender for a romantic relationship. Though if he's straight - really straight - the fact that you guys have a strong emotional and mental connection really isn't enough. [Speaking from the perspective of someone who has tried to date a person who was compatible in every possible way except sexually. If there is no sexual chemistry, the relationship still won't work on a romantic level.] You might count yourself lucky that you've fallen in with such a great friend, and let anything further evolve naturally on its own.
As others said, I would let it evolve naturally as well. If this is a new thing for him, he needs time. And he certainly does like you, but the time will show whether he likes you as a friend or something more. It does not sound like he's going anywhere if he's phoning you every day. Give him time and anything could happen.
From what you say I think he likes you. Just give it time and let him open up. It sounds like he is gay and in the closet. Straight buddies do not call each other first thing in the morning and before going to bed. The two of you might not even have the conversation but just kiss after one of those hugs. You are clearly on his mind like he is on yours. Please keep us updated on how things progress between you guys.
I totally agree with you about the sexual chemistry but I feel that there's already an initial attraction on top of the friendship, so there can be some hot sexual chemistry there especially if it's ever crossed his mind. I always feel like once there chemistry with someone the possiblities of intimacy are much higher than those that dont have chemistry at all. Thank you so so much for your advice
thanks all for the advice! I really appreciate it, I will keep you updated and posted as my love for him grows each day.
OMG you guys I love this guy sooooooo much I cant stand it! We were on the phone for 2 hours the other day and I really had the opportunity to look inside his heart and he's amazing! Can I say that everytime we see each other we share this really nice big hugs, today it was twice! LOL.
Wow, there is a real friendship here. Be careful where you tread. Open up to him about your feelings for him at least. I doubt you will get a bad reaction. Lastly, KEEP US UPDATED!!!
I will definitely keep you guys updated. I kind of was waiting to continue to build on our foundation before I tell him how I feel. My feelings are definitely growing as time goes on...but Im taking it one day at a time and not letting it over run my head! LOL Here's a quick update, Last monday we were at an event and we sat next to each other, I who is usually complaining that I am hot, happened to be freezing that day hence the AC was on full blast, and when I shivered he offered me his sweater! I mean I still open doors for women, and help old ladies cross the street etc, and I've offered a jacket to a female here and there but never to a male, and when he did that I just melted!!! This past weekend we made last minute plans to hang out and grab a bite to eat and on my way to pick him he asked me if it was ok if his best friend joined us I said no problem. He's been friends with this guys since Junior high (they're both 40 now). At first I told myself wtf I just want to be alone with him, but then I realized, oh wait a minute I'm meeting the best friend for the first time, this is huge! I can only assume that he's talked to him about me, because he's mentioned the best friend a few times to me, they are also roomates too. Anyways the 3 of us had a really nice time that evening, the best friend and I hit it off really well, but my guy was acting super duper straight that night and again if he's dealing with his sexuality he for sure hasnt told his best friend of over 20 yrs what he's been struggling with, but again this is a person who really doesnt express his deepest darkest secrets, he does so with his pen in his journal. Through out the night, I did notice the BFF scoping me and my guy ( I'm already claiming him as my guy hint...hint law of attraction and manifestation.) seeing the connection between us, and just smiling and it's funny now that I think back majority of the night my guy and I were pretty much laughing it up the whole time...I felt like he was observing our interaction...IDK Im really trying not to overanalyze things, but I am very intuitive and I know when someone is being observant and taking things in, vs someone who is participating in the action and conversation.,...I'm just saying. The following day I got a text from him around our usual time every morning, and I'm thinking ok if I'm the first person on his mind in the am let me call him for once...lol so I did and we talked about our plans for the day, and how much fun we had the night before. Again today (Sunday) Like clockwork he called, and it's funny everytime I think of him, he calls me thats how strong our connection is. We talked for a little over an hour today, and then I texted him later on......I'm smitten. As things develop I will keep you posted....I love this site it's like my guilty pleasure. Ciao, ciao for now my new friends.
