I'm a 19 years old college student and I'm still in the closet(except for some).... I already came out to my parents and they're cool about it(my mom already knows before I said to her but my dad was shocked about it but after the father to son talk it's already cool). So both of them said that I should be concentrating on my studies first and after that I could do everything I want... I know it's for my own good but deep inside me I want to talk to somebody else like me... I mean not exactly a boyfriend but someone just like me, a gay guy(not effeminate) to talk too... It's hard to talk gay stuff to my parents since, well they don't know anything about it... I mean a boyfriend would be nice but it's hard to find one since I'm still closeted... My parents told me that coming out isn't a good idea for the moment but deep inside me I really really want to come out... Note: I already posted something like this but ThinksTooMuch is the only one who replied. Thank you by the way. Oh well, I guess this isn't interesting enough and if nobody replied I'll just read some posts here and maybe I'll get some answers. Great site by the way.:icon_bigg..
Nice job coming out to your parents . Although your parents are probably discouraging you from coming out further because they are afraid that you'll get hurt in some way, I don't think it is really up to anyone else other than the individual to decide when they are ready. Sure, it's a good idea to listen to their concerns, but if you think you are ready, don't purposefully stay closeted just because they want you to: you should make the decision yourself. Guys aren't able to magically tell who is out and who is closeted, so coming out to people alone probably won't make a great deal of difference to finding a boyfriend (although possibly someone you come out to could introduce you to a guy). Being out certainly does make any eventual relationships much easier, but I don't think it should be viewed as a way to get into a relationship. However obviously you won't be able to go to things like LGBT clubs, bars or pride events (where you've got a much better chance of finding someone) unless you are atleast somewhat out, so they are definitely linked. I will pick up on the point where you specifically say you don't want to talk to an effeminate gay guy. Is there a reason for this? It's fine to not be romantically/sexually attracted to them, but it seems a bit strange that you'd exclude them from friendship.
Oh.. I didn't mean it that way... I have no grudge against them, in fact I have some friends who are effeminate(I don't know if everyone of them is gay). What I'm trying to say is I want to talk to someone who is not as open as me, because some of this effeminate friends of mine don't have the problem of being closeted anymore. I mean the feeling of someone saying you are gay and then link that I am effeminate, but I'm not. If only I could find someone that is just like an average guy to prove that not all gays are effeminate.
