1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Planning to get in touch with my crush?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Rinto, Aug 19, 2011.

  1. Rinto

    Rinto Guest

    I'm thinking about finally making a step at my crush. He's actually straight (as I know) but I just wanna try my best to do what I can. It's better trying it than not trying it at all and regretting it all at the end, right? >w< I'm really trying my best to be positive and it's actually quite rare for me to be like this... (sorry for the confusing English...)

    Anyways, here's what I'm planning to do. I'll try gaining contact first using phone or the net. I can message him in both ways but the problem is, how should I start a conversation with him? All I can think of is 'Hi' and then nothing else.

    Please help me... ToT
     
  2. ezkill

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    0
    You mentioned that your friend is straight. Does he date girls? He may not actually be straight, but it also may not be a good idea to confront him like this. Is he a friend, or is he just a crush? If he is a friend, you have to ask yourself if you value his friendship enough that you don't want to risk losing it. If he's not a friend, then really you have nothing to lose here, unless he tries outing you to a bunch of different people.

    There are at least a few posts a week on this forum about gay or bi males falling in love with a heterosexual individual. As far as I can tell, it has never turned out the way they wanted it to.

    Anyways, I don't mean to be a downer, but I also don't want you to set yourself up for unnecessary heartbreak. In the end, the decision belongs to you, but consider what I mentioned above.

    If you do decide to come on to him, please let us know your story. I'm sure people will be interested to hear.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. Miske

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2011
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Asia Tour
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Is it difficult because the two of you don't really share a strong friendship?

    I believe usually it is easier to break something down to someone the more closer the two of you are. That way it isn't so hard to be honest. But seeing that you have his phone number I guess I can assume that the two of you are close. And I think telling someone you like them is hard no matter how well you know each other.

    I'd say that it's cool that you're positive and eager to take a step forward but I think you should be sure that this crush of yours is someone you can trust with a secret, unless he already knows.

    You should try to do some weighing also. After you tell him, what do you think you'll feel? Are you prepared for awkward responses or maybe an awkward friendship? But I do know people that won't treat others like that. Many people are also decent enough to keep the friendship the way it is and not go all homophobic. Maybe your crush is also like that. And basing on how you typed it, you're not really sure if he's straight or gay or bi?

    Sometimes I think regretting something once in a while isn't really gonna hurt you thus why I mentioned weighing the circumstances. I'm not pushing you to stop and not express yourself but I think being as young as you are, this whole thing will come to past and you'll get many other opportunities in the future to have these same feelings with someone who can reciprocate your love although I have heard rare and unusual stories where someone who is straight does get into a relationship with their gay bestfriend.

    If you do decide to tell him, I'd say its better over phone. Even better would be personally so you guys can seal whatever deal you guys come up with and somehow not misunderstand each other because misunderstandings do happen often when you're not talking face to face. Maybe its got something to do with the gestures or the facial expressions.

    If you decide phone, you can say "Hi" then ask him something school related like if he's done with homework or you need to ask for help with a lesson you don't understand. Maybe you can try ranting about some teacher you don't like after that and then try asking him what he thinks about people in school like your classmates or the teachers. Then you can ask him what he thinks about you. LOL! This is the best I could come up with. Then I think you could tell him what you think about him :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    From here on out, you just have to be really careful. I wish you luck!! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Uniboth

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2011
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    You're brave...not that you need it, but you have my support. I'll be around...so if things go your way let me know. I like hearing people beating odds. If things don't go your way and you need to vent, I'm all ears...
     
  5. Weatherguy101

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2011
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston, MA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Does your crush give off any hints or signs that he may be gay, and attracted to you, even though he says he is straight?
    I too will be attempting to get friendlier with my crush very soon, as we both may be going to the same concert, a chat about that before hand, and I will be in great shape. By the way, my crush has given off an overwhelming amount of hints that he's gay and likes me intentionally and unintentionally, so I have to do something!

    Good luck to you!
     
  6. Rinto

    Rinto Guest

    Aw, that's so thoughtful of you, I feel so loved ahaha.
    Anyways, I actually just got his number from a friend that is a girl (actually, I'm close with almost all of the girls in our batch since I'm also a sort of a famous guy at school ^^). My crush actually just likes his number shared only to chosen people. Up to now, he still doesn't know I have his number. I think this will be a good chance to make a new kind of friendship with him.

    We used to be close back when we were in 6th grade. But it seems like our friendship got reset when I transferred to another school and came back as a sophie. He got a little bit more outgoing and people who loved at him before started hating him now because of his great personality change.

    I know, I'm just a like a fool trying to kill a king, but even in those circumstances I know I may win. I just need to get closer to him step-by-step so it could get pretty well. If I know it's dangerous already, I can withdraw. I know the precautions I must take heed. The only problem I have is who shall save me from the fall, if ever something happens? None knows I'm bi, and if it would turn out not too well, my reputation could be ruined worse than I could imagine.

    It's really kind of strange for me to hold contradicting feelings now at the same time, hate and love for him, fear and courage, strength and weakness and difficulty and freedom. But I guess I have to try no matter what happens. Life is beautiful and I think it's wasteful to not even take advantage of that beauty ahaha.

    I really do feel like crying now.... ahaha
     
    #6 Rinto, Aug 19, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2011
  7. WydenEmmie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2011
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I kind of know how you feel. My crush is a year older than me, and I told her I was bi. I was then asked who and ended up telling her it was her. She accepted me and, though she is straight, we still share a friendship. The only difference is that I have been friends with her for the past three or so years. I really hope it works out for you. :slight_smile:
     
  8. Hanil

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Italy
    As you said, it could be dangerous. Well, maybe "dangerous" is too hard, but what about if he takes it badly and says what you did to someone else? I don't want to shake your determination but I think you should have to consider this possibility.
    I mean, if you think he's a good person and you're sure he'd never do anything like this, then you could try. But if you have any doubts... I think it would be better if you give up.
    Anyway, he was your friend, so I don't think he would. If it is so, you have nothing to lose, so I think you should try.
    Good luck for whatever you decide to do :slight_smile:
     
  9. Rinto

    Rinto Guest

    Actually, I've gained contact now with him, but it seems like I'll most likely fail........ Too bad, but I guess I gonna have to give up...
     
  10. george678

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    866
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Just tell him your true feelings. It can either go good or bad.

    If it goes good then thats great.

    If not then try telling him you know it will never work.
     
  11. Mad Man L

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    If he doesn't know you have a crush on him and he's straight, give up now. While not trying at all and ignoring the thing may be hard, advancing, finding he's straight and then wanting what you can't have will be a long and painful process.