So I've been pretty comfortable with my bisexuality for a while now, and I'm contemplating fully coming out - I'm sick of this closet! But while I was on holiday, I realised that during the entire trip I didn't notice a single hot girl - they were all guys. I've always preferred guys but now it seems that I could possibly be gay. But I have no idea how I'm going to know. So basically - how do you know that you're gay?
It all comes down to which sexes arouse you sexually; anything else falls under the realm of romantic orientation or just the realm of friendship. When I'm browsing pictures of attractive men on the internet, they cause a pleasant sensation in the lower reaches of my brain and in my nether regions that pictures of attractive women just don't cause. When I look at erotic pictures of men, I get hard without needing to stimulate myself with my hands; that never happens with erotic pictures of women. When I'm "taking care of my own business", thinking about men gets me to my "destination", and thinking about women doesn't. And as you mentioned, when I go out in public, I stare at good-looking men much longer, more fixatedly, and with less regard for the risk of getting caught then when I stare at good-looking women (which I do, but for different reasons). Thing trouble is, denial can be a pretty powerful deterrent to all of these indicators. However, since you say your previous assumption was that you are bisexual, that probably won't be an issue for you, since such an assumption puts you on an even ground examine whether either, neither, or both sexes arouse you. That should give you some food for thought. This area is one I'm particularly experienced with advising on, so feel free to PM me if you ever want individual advice on it.
Well, I'm bisexual. The whole Vegas trip with my friends? All I noticed were the hot guys around me, lol. I thought it was me. Like something clicked in Vegas and I went "gay." Until I told my best friend that I kept seeing more guys than girls around - and he told me girls were oddly missing (other than those up on stages). Thus it was more guys were everywhere, girls were near nonexistent. But, when I went into the M&M store? I turned horny as hell for every girl that crossed my path. It was mecca. Basically, what I'm saying is - maybe wherever you were there just were more girls than guys around? Look at it this way, if you went into a gay club - you'd see guys more because they're everywhere. If you went to a straight club, you'd see both. If you shopped in the mall, you'd really notice the girls lol. Just apply this to whatever gender. It could not be this, but it is one possibility.
I know I'm gay, because I find no sexual attraction to women and guys are just simply more interesting to me. That and the idea of me being with a woman is just laughable, where as with a guy, it seems to make sense. Sexuality affects people different ways though and as an ever-changing spectrum, it could easily change.
This. Also, the one or two times I actually watched straight porn, having the girl in it actually made it really hard (haha) for anything to *ahem* present itself.
I know I'm gay because though I can find women attractive, beautiful, and cute, it's the guys I like. Though girls don't necessarily ruin porn for me, they can. There's nothing I really want to do with a girl that requires her to undress, the thought of kissing a girl doesn't interest me, and the thought of having sex with a girl will either bore me or kind of gross me out a little. Though your experience may vary, that's how it is for me.
This is probably one of the hardest questions that many have to ask themselves and its usually not about knowing if you are gay, but trying to find just out how gay you are or what to tell people once you come out. The best way to do that is to keep it as simple as you can. Not one single label out there will exactly explain how you feel so sometimes its just easier to "pick" the one that just fits you better and no one can do that except for you. For example, I tell people I'm gay yet I have had multiple girlfriends in the past and do enjoy being with them, but this is usually an exception to the rule and most of the time I'm noticing and thinking guys and not girls. I usually also click faster and better with guys, yet very rarely a girl will pop up that I will really like. So what does this make me exactly? I have no idea and honestly I don't really care to find out. So I simply tell people I'm gay and then I like whoever I want The point is that whatever way you decide to "label" yourself the important thing is that it makes sense to YOU. Everyone else can pretty much just suck it
I agree with TheEdend... don;t label yourself just yet, better not at all, at least not until you are comfortable with yourself. There are a few questions you can ask yourself that might help you in the right direction. answer the following question only with Girl, Guy or Both: 1. Who do you want to spend your entire life with? 2. Who do you see your self with when having fun? 3. With who do you want to explore the world with? 4. with who do you see yourself intimate with? 5. With who do you want to cuddle with? 6. With who do you want to be romantic with? 7. With who do you want crazy wild sex with? these are just basic questions you can ask yourself. The majority of the answers will point in in the direction you really want. Just remember to answer these questions as truthful as possible.
I think it will just come with time...but your orientation said Kinsey 4 or 5...I'm a Kinsey 5 or 5.5 and I consider myself gay so it's really all about how you feel. You could also be bi but lean pretty far towards gay. Sexuality is so fluid it's hard
The feelings that heterosexuals describe feeling towards the opposite sex when they talk about physical desire, I've only really had towards women. They are also the only ones I have really crushed on. I have had romantic feelings towards men (after being pursued by them, never the other way around), have enjoyed their company as intellectual peers, and have even found them attractive enough to sleep with, but when it comes down to the actual act, it feels weird for me to be with a guy. Kissing, touching, sex, all of it feels forced. It does not arouse me, basically like Gamer describes.
^ that + I stare at boys a lot more than girls, and i fantasize about guys only...that's how i know:icon_redf
Sometimes I wonder if I'm bi/pan/whatever, but if I think about it--really think about it--I've never really been into men, I've only wanted to be into men because I thought that was normal. Like, since I was 11/12, I've been looking at girls and fantasizing about girls. I don't know. I don't really notice men much. So many times I've asked myself "Am I gay?" and despite the evidence to the contrary, I've told myself "No." Until recently, when I sort of... forced myself to confront it, I guess, and really... there's nothing that really turns me on about men, physically or romantically. It just doesn't click with me.
I knew when I would wake up in the middle of the night with a hard on after a dream about guys. After that I couldn't ignore them!
I lean 70% towards guys (maybe even more, depending of the situation), but in some cases i do and did get excited by girls. And stealing Owen's way to say: thinking about women has lead me to my "destination", while "taking care of my business", many times. And i have the feeling that i would easily be able to have anything with women...well, thats me. I guess the best way to find stuff out about yourself is to pay attention to details. Good luck :3
My orientation confuses me, I mean I fell in love with a girl but had no sexual feelings for her. Lol.
