I have no idea how to flirt with women or how to find women in general to date. The whole thing is completely new to me. I don't know many gay people around where I live and those that I do know are coupled up. How do you find someone to date or "talk" to as a lesbian/gay man? I tend to attract men and not women. Men usually seem more straight forward about flirting so that I don't have to do much work. However, I am gay and interested in women only. I have never been able to go up to a woman and flirt with her because I'm always afraid she is straight, taken, or not interested. I'm still not very comfortable in expressing my sexuality outwardly so that makes me feel even more awkward when around a woman I might be interested in. How can I attract women? I really wish women were more up front about flirting because I'm really shy. I would prefer if a woman would come up to me instead of me going up to her but I honestly don't even know how I would react if a woman flirted with me because it's never happened. It seems like I've missed some sort of adolescent stage where you learn how to flirt, date, and etc. I'm an adult now and I don't want to always be alone. I want a woman to like me one day and come over to talk to me. Do any of you all feel lost when it comes to dating/flirting with/etc the same sex?
Yea I feel pretty lost when it comes to that :s I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend but I've had girls hit on me before but I'm not straight :s so I'm not interested.
Just pick someone and strike up a conversation. Stay relaxed and smile a bit Basically just look approachable and confident and you'll be ok. It doesn't matter at first whether or not they are straight; but I'd advise finding out if they are taken already or not before you start flirting too much. I've never had a girlfriend but I did have a boyfriend and, from my experience, flirting with either gender in the same way seems to work so my advise shouldn't be too bad Good luck! (*hug*)
Just be attentive to what they're saying and try to be interested. If they're attracted to you then they'll most likely stick around to get to know you a bit better. Then, to solidify things, you can always drop the 'I like girls' card casually and see what happens. I don't really think actual flirting is of much use unless you're trying to pick someone up or you know that they're interested in you and you want to tease them, anyway.
Well, I'm experiencing the same. I can make moves with girl but never with boys because it's just like yours: it could be either that 80% of the chance is that they're straight and the 20% is that they're not interested. It's really better to expose yourself in situations you could meet people, like entering jobs that makes you meet people. In that way, you could learn about how things go by for other people and you can train yourself in communicating with others. That'll help you from your shyness. I hope it goes well.
Hi midwestgirl89, It's difficult at first to find guys/girls that are attracted to you and that you can approach. For me, I always had to use a dating website to make gay friends or find dates. However, after I came out and accepted the fact that I was gay, I made some really awesome gay friends. Often, the way to meet people is through networking with other gay people. My gay friend Ryan (who has a boyfriend of three years) is always trying to hook me up in spite of the fact he has his own relationship to work with. I have met many other gay people this way. When you meet people this way, you often don't have to try as hard to gauge their interest. Why? Because your mutual friend is already pestering you guys to kiss! In all seriousness, though, networking is the way to go. It took me a long, long time to actually make a gay friend who wasn't just trying to hook up with me. Some of the other posters on this thread have some great advice. You should first be comfortable and confident with yourself before you think about approaching others. People have a tendency to recognize security and confidence in others, and they are often attracted to it. Lastly, occupy yourself with new activities or things you love. Join a club, start one, or find an activity group. You could also try hanging around a girl bar and see what happens. Good luck, and please stay positive.
Flirting and strutting your stuff is a little overrated. It'll definitely attract attention, but it's not like a perfectly good guy/girl is going to go unnoticed just because they're not proficient at it. Not unless they're hiding away, that is. Simply being friendly and confident will do wonders, it's been said, though it's still reliant on them being bisexual/lesbian in the first place for it to go beyond friendship. Just put yourself where you're going to meet people - some kind of LGBT bar or group if there's any locally will help - and there will be opportunities. I personally leave my flirting for places where I know there's a relevant crowd to help take the edge off the nervousness, which unfortunately isn't my local coffeeshop with the World's Cutest Barista. I struggled with confidence issues before, but I just remembered that no matter how bad I think I am at chatting people up or getting a date, I did catch the eye of one of the most amazing girls once. Nobody is everyone's thing, but everyone is somebody's thing.
not much of a difference, compliment their hair or makeup or clothes. Anything to get a conversation going. Don't look at it as a game, look at it as trying to get know the other person.
