Came out to a friend, situation was completely misinterpreted

Right, so, I'm curious if anyone has any advice for this situation. It's long, I'm sorry, but I did some venting here, too.

Backstory: Ever since I was 13, I considered myself bisexual, at least up until a few months ago. I dated mostly guys, and was always disappointed at how things went. So disappointed, in fact, that about a year ago I swore off serious relationships in general, believing they "weren't for me," and a few months after that I entered into a casual relationship with one of my guy friends.

During the time I was dating him, one of my female friends came out of the closet to me, and her coming out also helped me sort out some of my feelings because of how much of it rang true with me. I'd always been afraid of being a lesbian after my family's reaction when I tried to talk to them about being bisexual years prior, among other things, and I'd always used the fact that I can have a passing intellectual attraction to males as my "get out of being gay" card. I'd shoved myself so deep into the closet that I actually thought the weird, shallow kinds of relationships I was capable of with men were normal, or just my fault for being a bad partner - so I swore off expecting anything real.

Thing is, I'm actually very happy being serious with women because I have rich, fulfilling relationships with them and am actually attracted to them on multiple levels. Even starting a family, something I have been vehemently against for so long, sounds... pretty tolerable. I just never really looked at it all in that light and put things together until someone helped me break things down.

My female friend and I decided we kind of liked each other, but really weren't ready for dating, as we're the kind of people who need a lot of time to come to terms with ourselves and stabilize. Not really the "jump right in" types. I felt that the first thing I should do is clear the slate and talk to my guy friend to end things, since he was going to be affected by this, too. I specifically said it was because I was unsure of my orientation and might want to start seeing some girl seriously in the future, and shouldn't be dating someone on the side amidst all the wackiness. He completely lost his shit.

He's convinced that, because I didn't want a serious relationship with him but now want one with someone else, that I used him from the beginning and lied to him about my feelings towards serious relationships. In addition to a slew of insults, I even got a Livejournal entry making an example of people who "don't know how to treat their friends" and "toxic personalities." :rolle: He's absolutely, 100% convinced that this was all deliberate, and I have no idea how to sit him down and convince him to see otherwise, or at least to let it pass.

He's thrown away a good friendship of years over this, and it's downright ridiculous because I meant what I said when I said it, but that was before I was even out to myself. I am sorry that he had to get caught up in the chaos that was me coming to terms with myself - even if I think, looking back, that he put a crazy amount of himself into a "casual" relationship - but I have never lied to him about anything more than being busy when I actually wanted to sleep in and game on a Saturday. I might have been less than civil in the argument myself, but I have never intended to cause him trouble and I don't deserve all the spiteful shit he's said and spread about me.

All the same, I want one of my (former) best friends to start talking to me again, and not let a teeny-tiny three-month relationship and my awkward attempts to explain things split us apart when we used to have so much fun together. It's been awhile since the fight and I've been hoping he'd lighten up and let me get a few words in, but he's unwilling to just straight-up talk and I have no idea how to better explain what's been going on.

I don't know, maybe someone else has a better idea of how to deal with this than just going up and blurting it out. I'm far too blunt sometimes.