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Strange feelings

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Marlowe, Aug 27, 2011.

  1. Marlowe

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    I had a very strange experience today that sort of confused me. I was hanging out with a good female friend of mine, whom I know objectively is very attractive. We were lying on her bed watching Dr. Who, and I suddenly realized that I was checking her out her rack, so to speak. The way we were lying her cleavage was pretty much in my line of sight. On one hand, I definitely felt some sort of attraction, but it was not quite sexual tension, the way I would have had if an equivalently attractive guy was next to me. I am just not sure what to make of this, since I have never noticed a girl in this way before. This is also tied to the fact that I dated a girl for a few months earlier this year and while it didn’t really go anywhere physically I recently came across a picture of her on Facebook and my heart skipped a beat and I missed her really badly, something that never quite happened when we were dating. There have been a few other incidents too.

    On one had I am thinking that maybe I am sort of bisexual and that I had never explored this part of my identity or perhaps it is newly emergent. But the other part of me says this is sort of wishful thinking, and that maybe this is sort of a last ditch attempt to make coming out easier by allowing myself to say that I am bisexual. Or maybe it is just plain old curiosity.
     
  2. Mad Man L

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    That could be the small part of your sexuality which is straight playing with you there.

    You can still be gay and have an interest in women, but it shouldn't be something big. Dating a girl doesn't immediately mean you are bi, as would having sex with a guy make you bisexual (for a straight guy).

    But if you suddenly find yourself getting turned on by lesbian sex and being 'interested' in lots of women, you could be bi.
     
  3. MunsterMash

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    I had a very similar experience last night. I was watching a movie with my best friend and she was sitting in a way in which her cleavage was showing. I couldn't help but look, but it wasn't attraction that was driving me too look at them. I think it was just the fact that a part of her body that is usually covered up was showing more than usual. I know I'm speaking for myself here but humans are curious creatures and if any part of someone's body that is usually covered from the public eye is about to be shown, whether I'm attracted or not, I'm going to look. And I'm pretty sure most people are the same way. I could be wrong but I think everyone has somewhat of a fascination with the human body in general. And who knows? There could be some underlying, minute attraction that exists there, but overall I know I'm attracted to guys like 99% more than I am attracted to women. You could be bisexual but Whenever I have these little experiences that make me question whether I'm really sure that I'm gay or not, I ask myself the standard list of questions: Who am I really attracted to? What gender do I notice first? Who would I want to spend my life with? What type of porn do I watch? Etc. I hope this helped. I have those annoying days where my mind seems to want to question everything all over again as well.
     
  4. maverick

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    I have had similar feelings. I don't like to classify myself as bi because my attraction for women way, way overreaches my attraction for men, but there are definitely some guys that I find myself attracted to.

    *coughJaredLetocough*

    I usually don't give it much thought, because if I'm ever like, He's cute, my second thought is always, Yeah, but would you actually sleep with him? and my in-head response is usually, Erm....no.

    I think this is a big part of it. If the package is out, I'm gonna take a look at it. I might not UNWRAP it, but there's no harm in looking. :grin:
     
  5. PsychoticMonkey

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    Yeah, I know this feeling all too well. It pops up me me every now and then - it's not so much a sexual attraction, but it's definitely an attraction of some sort. I'd never thought of it that way but I think MunsterMash may have nailed it on the head - it's probably just curiosity. Your brain is thinking "Hmmm....that's normally covered up. And it's not now..."
     
  6. Danny19

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    oh my i had the same thing with a friend. but i got over it. i wasnt really into them after. i think i was just curious to see if i could get turned on by boobs and the fact that i really wanted to get turned on made me feel some attraction. but later i noticed that it wasnt true. now i just look at them and im like whatever lol
     
  7. Marlowe

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    Thanks everyone for your help, especially MunsterMash. Getting down to brass tacks, it definitely is the curiosity that you described, more so than anything sexual. I was thinking about it, and like Maverick, it was sort of a combination of meh and pedestrian curiosity about the thought of sleeping with a girl -- sort of it would be nice to sleep with someone if only for the companionship.