Who should I believe; should I ask my cousin's friend out; is he a bad kid iyo

So I have a massive problem I need your opinion on. PLEASE read the whole thing--every sentence is important, but most people just answer my question on YA without reading it at all--and give feedback.
My choice I have to make is: 1) Whether I should date my cousin Tory's best friend Joe; 2) Who I should believe about Joe. Tory's brother Cory keeps saying all these bad things about Joe and making it seem like Joe's such a bad person, yet when he gets around me he's the sweetest person in the world.
So anyway let me get to the story:



On the day before my 15th birthday, the 24th (basically this past Wednesday) my homophobic cousin brought his friend Joe over. Joe's good looking and he's a great person. Me and Joe are both Virgos--his birthday is this September 11, he'll be 14; don't let age fool you, he's 5'9--so our peaceful, calm personalities work out and we would be the perfect love match.
However, Joe only stayed with me and my cousins for 3 days. Why? Him and one of my cousins--the one who he's best friends with, Tory--got into a fight and came to blows with each other over Joe not giving Tory his PS3 controller back.
So later they both had to leave, and since my other cousin Cory (Tory's fraternal twin brother) wasn't involved in the fight, he was allowed to stay. But since Joe was so nice to me, I begged to let him stay over. (Also because prior to him coming over he was only a friend of my cousin's to me, but I warmed up to him and we're friends.) But my begging didn't work...

So that happened within this past week. I almost cried after Joe left. If there was no fight, Joe would still be here. Him and Tory were supposed to leave today anyway. But I wanted to get to know Joe since he was the first great catch I'd seen. Kids at my high school are rude, mean, and I'm not close with most kids at my high school. Joe's going to high school, he's gonna be a freshman, and he has ADD; the major trait is that he has a short temper, and starts fights and drama easily. I feel bad for him; I don't want to see him hurt.

Problem? Last year I moved to Freehold, New Jersey, and had to start a new high school for freshman year, but now I've adapted to it. I'm originally from Manalapan, NJ, and Joe went to the same middle school I do. However, Joe lives in Englishtown, NJ, 15 minutes from where I live, so we don't go to the same high school.

My question is: Based on what I said about Joe, and my history with trying to get girls (Joe's the first guy I've genuinely liked so I'm not gonna say boys because I've been screwed over emotionally by 6 boys on 6 different occassions. Joe is the first one I genuinely care about.) why can't the right person come along in my life? And when (in my opinion) the right person did come in my life, why did it end so soon?

And sorry for the additional deets but Joe does call things "gay". Example: Tory humping Joe.
Also me and Joe had alone time last night before the fight happened btwn he and Tory. I wanted to ask him if he's bi but I never got the chance to.

Aban I forgot to add one more thing: (About Cory)
Here's a conversation me and my other friend were IMing each other about (about Cory):

Me: I don't know whether to believe Cory or not but I know hes trying to make me be on his side (being against Joe) by saying all these bad things about joe
And Tory has ALWAYS been like that. Doing bad things. Having conniptions over little things. But Cory told me also that Joe made Tory a bad boy. Made him smoke, made him do drugs

So I don't know whether to believe him
I know this is a lot of writing but also C and T's mom Lynn told my mom (I overheard them) that Tory was a good kid until he was 8 years old, and he had a collision and ever since then he's been bad
My Friend:
ont you think your taking this a little to seriously, I mean , even if Joe did fucked up Tory I'm sure hes not going to do the same thing, Maybe Cory is just jealous
Me:
:But Cory said he doesn't associate with Joe anymore because of the stupid crap he's done (and I've told you)
My Friend: It doesnt sound like Cory is a good kid by talking behind Joes back, if anything Cory is a drama queen
Me
s:He said their whole family is like that. They have short tempers--which I've seen myself--and the only difference is Tory displays his drama in public and acts out in school; Cory is like me and he keeps it inside until the person's gone
My Friend:
Dude, I know people like Cory & trust me, they have nothing better to do than to start shit behind peoples backs
Me:
True but he is the funniest kid my age I know and hes generally a good kid. However, everybody (myself included) in my neighborhood talk shit about someone, and Tory and Lynn appear frequently. Every adult in my neighborhood says that Tory is the way he is b/c Lynn doesn't control him when he gets out of line. Now, Lynn drinks and smokes, and shes on welfare and shes haad her kids almost removed from her by DYFS
Me:
Remember DYFS is Social Services here in New Jersey
My Friend:
Okay, but your in the same position as Tory, & how come you didnt turn out all fucked up like he did? People dont turn fucked up because they dont listen to Lynn or because they fallow Joe's but because of the person that they are
Me:
I didn't turn out like Tory because I was NEVER rebellious and I never dare to act out and do shit he does. I wouldn't be beat but I'd get a stern yelliing

And I would never act out like Tory in a million years. I know better. Also Cory was saying it's in Lynn's side of the family where they get their short tempers, bipolar disorder, and tantrums
It just happened to Tory at such a young age

In a later conversation...

Me: so what do you think of the paragraph where i said where I'd never act like Tory in a million years?

My Friend: I dont really know, because I dont know know Tory, I only know him for what you described

Me: And I am telling the truth btw based on my experiences with him and Cory and Lynn

My Friend: There's 2 sides to every story, maybe Tory is just insecure

Me: He's insecure in what way? Do you think he's lacking affection from Lynn?

My Friend: I mean did Lynn ever disapline him when he was lil?

Me: Not to my knowledge, but my mom said she doesn't think so either, but if you ask him, she said, he'd probably tell you. I think he'd lie since that's what he does best and say yeah she did. If she did when he was little then she wouldn't HAVE this problem child!

Cory--and my mom, which is normal--was even trying to persuade me not to get involved with kids like Joe; he said even Joe hangs out with bad influential kids, so even if Joe didn't hang out with Tory it would be someone else who's bad. However, if Joe's so bad why would he act all sweet around me? He wasn't mean or anything and he was very nice. I told my friend this in a separate IM and he said Cory is just jealous of Tory and Joe's friendship. However, what I didn't tell him is that about an hour before the fight where Tory and Joe had to leave, Joe got my mom's keys out her handbag--since she was asleep--and he took me across the street to our beanch of the Nestle Factory for 2 reasons: 1) Their parking lot is very wide and there weren't many cars there at 12am; 2) He didn't think we'd get in trouble--luckily we didn't because I got scared. He was drifting and driving fast in circles around the Nestle parking lot, and I told him he was scaring me shitless by drifting fast, so he understood, and took me home. What people don't realize about Joe is that even though he hangs around bad people and is perceived to be a bad influence, every time he comes around me he is the sweetest person in the world. If he notices somebody talked shit about me and I was crying, he'd come to my defense and I'd be behind him all the way. If Tory was talking shit about me--and remember Tory is his best friend--he'd come to my defense and tell Tory to shut the fuck up. Just like Cory, my mom told me to stop hanging around Joe because he's a bad influence. But I haven't told her what I said about Joe, and I intend to keep it that way. Joe didn't crash the car in the Nestle incident. She also told me even if Joe stops coming with Tory he'd bring someone else bad anyway. I'd open up to Joe, and have him open up as well, but even if he is the "bad influence" my mom, Cory, and Cory and Tory's 21 year old brother Koron says he is, Joe makes me happy and he makes me smile when I'm down. I haven't told him that yet but I might when he comes over again this Tuesday....
And he probably--no, he DOES--have Tory in tow.

Btw I went on Facebook and told Joe everything bad Tory does, my opinion on how Tory treats him/uses him, how great a person I think he is, and that I hope we could be friends. (And he said we can) But Joe did open up; first he told me though that Tory went into Joe's Facebook and read my message to him and got pissed off again....

 

Thanks for the very helpful advice. Sorry I didn't reply back when I posted this, I guess I was too in love with Joe to reply haha. And me and Joe are still friends but that's it. I wish we could be something more--I still have feelings for him as a friend and as a boyfriend--but with Tory around I know it will never happen.
Also I have a new crush named Matt and I've known him for a year now... I've posted several threads about him here on EC. Check them out! Click on my name and go to Statistics and 'Threads made by don29002' to see