I've known that I'm a lesbian for a while now (okay, first I thought I was bi, but whatever), and I've sort of come out to my parents, my sister, and a few of my friends. They're all okay with it, love me no matter what, yadda yadda yadda, so that isn't my problem. (Okay, that sounded like I don't care that they don't care, but I do, I love them for not caring.) There is a site called Jong&out (which means Young & out, but it's funny because 'oud' means 'old', so it's also young and old, even though it's 1 and they have meetings every now and then in every part of the country. It's nothing really serious, it's mostly hanging out together, having fun and talk a bit. Here in my town it's every first Sunday of the month. I've been on that site for long enough now, and the people on that site seem nice enough, and I would really like to go to one of those meetings, but everytime I tell myself to go there, I end up staying at home, and I don't know why. It's not like I'm scared of meeting new people. I've switched schools recently, and I wasn't even slightly nervous on my first day, but now... I can't even bring myself to tell my parents I want to go there, which makes no sense at all, because they know I'm gay, and they don't care, like I said before. And it really drives me crazy, because I really want to go, but every first Sunday of the month, I get so nervous thinking about going, my throat goes dry and my stomach twists into very complicated knots, and that doesn't stop until I'm already too late. And once again: I really want to, you know, to share experiences and things like that, make some new friends who actually know what I've been through, because they've been, too. But somehow I can't. How do I work up the courage to go there, or even ask my parents if I can go? Because I feel like a chicken and I've never felt like a chicken, I always face my demons and all that. So why can't I do this?
I'm not sure why you're so nervous, but to avoid having it all rest on the one day, why not start talking about it a couple of weeks before. Just mention the place to your parents, if they aren't already aware of it's exsitence. Then you don't need to cover it all in one conversation. Mention that it exists. Then a week later you could bring it up again, and mention that you'd like to go if someone could take you. Then, on the day, you'll only be nervous about going, and not about going in addition to talking about it, and asking for a ride...
It sounds to me like it`s just a case of nerves, really. Although, in a way, going to a meeting could sort of be like coming out to a group of people that you don`t know, so I could see why nerves & could come into play. You certainly don`t have to rush yourself, just get used to the idea in your own head first, as it seems your anxiety starts out when you start thinking about going. When youre ready, tell your parents that youre thinking about going to a meeting, if youre out to them & theyre supportive, Im sure that theyll have no problem talking with you thru your anxiety & give you the support you need. Talking about a problem with people you love & who support you could be the first step in relieving your anxiety & nervousness. then, when youre ready, go to a meeting & see how things go. Its not a race, so you dont have to move at a set speed to reach the finish line, so to speak. And thru all of what I mentioned above, you have all of us here on EC, so dont hesitate to use EC for support, we`ll all be glad to help you & listen! (*hug*)
