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What's with the intensity? Would someone turn it down please?!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dalmatian, Aug 29, 2011.

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  1. Dalmatian

    Dalmatian
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    God! I'm in hell. Why do all these feelings have to be so strong and so paralyzing and uncontrollable? It's been just a few months since I went from "I might be gay" to "I am allowed to find guys attractive", but it feels as if I lost all steering privileges when it comes to my life. I am crazily in love with my coworker (he knows, is fine with it, teases me, I'm happy with it) and I wouldn't mind having a crush if it wasn't just.... want-to-rip-my-heart-out feel-like-being-run-over-and-over-by-a-truck All. The. Time.
    It's overburn. It's killing! I'm running on adrenaline or something without resting and it's driving me mad.
    And now, last week, I was on a party where this adorable incredible perfect guy was too and I spoke to him some (nothing sexual) and now he's doubled the intensity and I'm all in red, far, far red!

    Ahh......... why?.. Can't it just be "psst, your emotions here, we would kinda like you to daydream a bit about that guy"? Why does it have to be "ATTENTION ATTENTION THAT GUY NO WORK NO FUN NO RELAXATION NO CALMNESS EMOTION EMOTION EMOTION UR SCREWED!!"?

    I don't know what to do. I can't function like this. Does it get better? I'm like a twelve year old, first time experiencing this. It's killing me, I can't have a rational thought, this is all I am capable of thinking about.
     
    #1 Dalmatian, Aug 29, 2011
  2. Jim1454

    Jim1454
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    This is EXACTLY what many of us 'older' guys (and girls) experience when they come out. It is very much as though we're 14 years old again - high on hormones and totally irrational with respect to our emotions for someone. It's normal, and it will pass.

    I felt this way - for sure. I had a HUGE crush on someone who I med when I first was coming out to myself. It's more the experience than the person that generates the high, because this person wasn't someone that should have had me so worked up. He was much younger, not all that attractive (in hindsight), and didn't have any abmition at all. His life was a bit of a mess, and that's just not who I am. Yet I was totally overwhelmed for a few weeks.

    So you're not alone, and I expect it will pass. Find other things to keep you busy, and try to get out and meet other guys who could be a potential boyfriend - to take your mind off this guy who isn't.
     
    #2 Jim1454, Aug 29, 2011
  3. redstormrising

    redstormrising
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    this happened to me, too. I was absolutely head over heels for a woman that really is a horrible evil bitch. it was very much like being a teenager again, and just awful!
     
    #3 redstormrising, Aug 29, 2011
  4. feelindown

    feelindown Guest

    you have just identified you like guys, you have just given yourself permission that it's ok to think they are attraction, so now you have found a few guys that you like and you are intensly thinking about them and like a young teenage infactuation. this is normal. especially since you have had it pent up so long. but you have to calm down and get a grip on reality and life. yes, these are nice people but you need to put everything in perspective. there is no rush, you will meet the right person in time. after you expose yourself to meeting other gay people you will see and realize that these guys are nice but there are other people out there and these aren't the last two guys on earth. just be friends and if someone is interested ok that fine but if not, dont go crazy over it eitehr, trust me, men are like buses, when one passes you buy, there will be another one that shows up in 10 minutes. good luck
     
    #4 feelindown, Aug 30, 2011
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