So tomorrow I have my second meeting with my domestic violence counselor, the only counselor I see. Ft Sill is small and due to my insurance and conflict of interests, she is the only one I can see. Anyways.* I have been having a lot of problems, I've been really lonely and depressed and upset over the nasty comments I've gotten since getting here. I am really nervous about talking to her, especially since the community is so conservative and I can't go anywhere else ... Not sure what to do
If someone is in the domestic violence sector, they should have a lot of patience and empathy. That doesn't always mean they will, but I think you should definately make it to that appointment. I'm going through what you're thinking about doing right now, and it has made so much difference and I've only gone to a few sessions. The lady I speak with keeps everything confidential, and she's very understanding having been in my position before. I didn't cry the first couple sessions, but now the tears flow and I'm able to communicate with her as if I've known her a lot longer. It's really great to face the issue head on instead of constantly running from it like I've done. I don't know your story, but I'm sure it's horrible and I want you to know that you're not alone. (*hug*) Maybe you can check out if there are any nonprofit organizations in the area for violence against women. That's what I did and I'm glad I did it.
I suppose I should have been more specific ... the abuse I suffered was all at the hands of my husband and was continuous and horrific. I had a partner the whole marraige- it was a marriage of convience. owever my current loneliness and depression stem from being confined in a very conservative community with no support and I am unsure if I should disclose these dynamics to her . I'm not sure she'd understand.
As far as I know, you don't have to let everything out during your first few meetings with the therapist, but do know that if you want things to change you'll need to tell her what's up. As a therapist, her job is to listen to what you say, and help you to grow out of what is limiting you as a person. However, her tools in doing so are her knowledge of psychology and he knowledge of you. If you don't allow her to know what the core of your loneliness and depression is, she can't give you the exact advice and care that you'll need to get through this. Summary - Go, and be ready to open up at least a little. Understand that, if you want to lose the loneliness and depression, you'll (more than likely) have to open up to your therapist.
If she is even remotely qualified as a therapist, then she will be completely in tune with the problems in the community, and sensitive to your issues. Counseling women coming from domestic violence situations can be among the more challenging situations a therapist has to deal with because there is almost always an underlying element of low self esteem and the violence survivor often, because of low esteem, keeps going back in the violent situation. So if s/he is specializing in domestic violence and is a licensed therapist or social worker, it is all but completely certain that she will have the understanding you need, and will handle the disclosure just fine.
If she is a clinical psychologist, she has a duty to keep what you say confidential unless you directly threaten another induvidual and say you are going to fallow through with said action, talk about hurting yourself, or is called to testify in a trial if need be. I have recently started seeing a psychologist, and I didn't think she would understand some of the things I've been going through. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, I don't know. But, she has sat there and listened to what I have to say, and helped me work through it and has given me suggestions. Your psychologist is there to help you, and you will only get out as much as you put in. If you clue her in, she may very well be able to help you sort through what you feel. No, she may not understand, but she at least has to help you to the best of her abilities or refer you to someone else. (different town maybe?) Sorry this is kind of long and stuff, hope it helped.
Let me put it this way. If you're in a position of thinking "I don't want to tell my therapist something, because I don't think she'd understand"...then there's really no reason to go see the therapist. Because this means you don't trust your therapist with the big picture. It'd be like not telling your doctor about those chest pains or other symptoms, and hoping s/he'll still figure out the right diagnosis. Your therapist needs to know this stuff. And, in fact, it's probably best if you just tell her what you told us. "I'm reluctant to share this stuff with you, because I get this fear that you won't understand." Lex
