just out of curiosity, how prevalent is the situation in a gay relationship where one person is the "guy" and the other is the "girl"? maybe this is just how the media portrays it but it seems to be a common belief that you are either the guy or the girl in the relationship. but, although I'm interested in totally feminine women, i can't see myself fitting into a masculine role. i enjoy maintaining a bit of femininity-- i like wearing dresses, wearing make-up, etc. so is this a common thing, the gender roles in gay relationships, or is it just another inaccurate portrayal of LGBT by the media?
I don't have the experience myself, but from what I've observed around me, the stereotype often isn't true. There are plenty of gay girls just like you out there - femmes into femmes.
Well there does exist that mentality of "one person has to wear the pants"... but I think that has to do more with the sexual "top" versus "bottom" idea. I only know of a few married gay couples, and for the ones I know, it's either ambiguous (both are rather feminine in nature) or there is clearly one person who is more masculine than the other. However, that doesn't say anything about who actually does wear the pants. After all, in a lot of heterosexual relationships, the woman secretly wears the pants... more to be said on that later!
Ultimately id say that the stereotype is false. I like to think that my girl and I are pretty gender neutral. She isn't super girly and I'm not a butch or anthing. I mean maybe to outsders I wud seem like the guy. If u looked deeper into our relationship though, ud see that I am the more emotional one. And she is more of the provider.
The stereotype is false. My husband and I are both just your average guys. Neither in the bedroom nor in our domestic life is one of us 'the girl' and the other 'the boy'.
In gay relationships, nobody is the girl. In lesbian relationships, nobody is the guy. And as far as I can tell, there are tons of femme lesbians out there who are into other femme lesbians. More's the pity for a butch like me. :icon_wink
there are definitely LGBT couples that may present as heteronormative in terms of one person looking/acting like more of a "guy" and the other a "girl" but that is only because we are projecting our own views onto their relationship. In my opinion it really doesn't make sense to try and understand or explain a homosexual relationship based on assumptions that derived from things seen in heterosexual couples. I remember when I was still questioning my sexuality I would watch youtube videos and for a while I was really worried that I wouldn't fit into the gay community because I'm a "femme" who is for the most part attracted to other femmes. But really it's silly to think that in a relationship with two women one has to be more of a man. Also just because a woman dresses "masculine" doesn't mean that she does not exhibit feminine characteristics. A woman is still a woman regardless, unless she is FTM but that's a whole nother discussion. ---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2011 at 05:39 PM ---------- Also in the past for many lesbian couples it was almost necessary to have a "man" and woman to try and fit into an extremely homophobic/heteronormative society so some felt pressured to present their relationship in that way.
ive seen several gay couples lately, two 'butch' looking women and two just regular looking guys couples. i think the stereotypes are true for some, and not for others.
I just had a conversation about an hour ago with these people who had a gay teacher in high school who was proposed to. One of my friends brought up the question of who proposes to whom, and they said the more feminine one was proposed to. I haven't seen enough gay couples in real life to really know, but it definitely seems like a prevalent stereotype that is based a little bit in truth.
