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Did you ever...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by sloaners, Aug 31, 2011.

  1. sloaners

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    Before you were out as gay, did you ever act like you were straight around your straight friends? For example with my girl friends, I would agree with them about how some guy is super attractive or something. Or act like I was interested in him, but really wasn't. I think guys are physically attrative, but I never really enjoyed dating one.. but I would act like I did.
    I haven't recently, because I'm becoming more confdent with my sexuality, but looking back I did. It's embarrassing, really. But I was wondering if anyone else did the same thing?
     
  2. query

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    i do it all the time. not neccessarilly because im afraid they'll think im gay, i mean i can still tell when a chick is hot or not!
     
  3. Sadepeura

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    Not knowingly, but unconsciously I did. Like I would put up posters of men that I thought were quite cute and then when my friends would tell me how hot they were I would agree with them. And most of my walls were covered with posters of females and I would actually just drool them but because my friends never commented on them I never realised what was going on. Although all the men were hidden somewhere behind my door or something where I would never even look up those pictures, they were there just because there was a patch of ugly wall paper I needed to cover. Yeah, that's what 15 year-old me did. The whole thing is quite embarrassing really. Does that count?
     
  4. bsolitaire

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    yes, i totally did this. i feigned swooning over male celebrities. I even went out on dates with men, but i squirmed at their attempts to hold hands. I couldn't fancy kissing them on the lips.

    I thought I just haven't met the right guy, but in retrospect, every major crush i had was a female.
     
  5. Lexington

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    I can't recall ever having done this. I do recall saying a certain female celebrity was hot way back in 1984, but that was less pretending and more "pushing something along because I wasn't sure if I was doing it all wrong". I mean, I DID think she was cute, but I didn't pant after her...but since I figured that was more than other female celebrities did for me, I should just go with her.

    The whole "Oh, wait, I think GUYS are hot" revelation was still a few years down the road.

    Lex
     
  6. Noir

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    What if I act straight 99.9% of the time except when something wreaks of masculinity--like when learning about *cough cough* birth control and safe sex in a health class and almost getting sick in a matter of seconds? Not meant to offend guys. I have a borderline androphobia (an abnormal fear of men). Other than this, I can seem as straight as anyone minus talking about cute boys.

    I can get along swimmingly with a guy so long as he treats me very clearly as a "guy friend." I start to panic though if it turns romantic.
     
  7. addie88

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    i dated three guys to try and prove to others (and mostly myself) that i was straight.

    it didn't work out so well.:roflmao:
     
  8. Gallatin

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    I usually just nod and approve when my guy friends point out a girl they find hot, while I'm looking at their boyfriend haha. I have dated a few girls (and actually had a pretty fulfilling relationship with one), but the others have been hollow shells of relationships. Sure, I care about them, but only as one does for a close friend, not bf/gf.
     
  9. Sadepeura

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    How does someone seem straight without talking about cute boys? What would I have to do/not do? :astonished:
     
  10. feelindown

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    yea and i still do it. i pass as 100% straight to cut down on confusion.
     
  11. midwestgirl89

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    I've done this before although usually I just try to side-step those kind of conversations and talk about more neutral subjects. I pretended to have crushes on boys when I was younger so I could tell friends about it to feel normal. However I'm not really out to everyone yet so I still do it at times. I think it's really common for lesbian/gay/bi-sexual/etc people to overcompensate by acting like they think someone of the opposite sex is attractive.
     
  12. maverick

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    "OMG he's sooooo hot!!"

    <_< ... >_>

    -_-
     
  13. Leif

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    I "act straight" around the majority of my extended family. They're great folks but I come from a very oldschool Hispanic/Italian family and I'd rather not cause drama. Around my immediate family I just don't bring it up. Huge issues with my mom. So I just try to lay low. Oh and around my old best friend. She's a lot a bit on the crazy super religious side. I don't know how she hasn't realized it though, Ive brought girlfriends over to her house in the past. Pretty sure she's in denial.
     
  14. Dykezz

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    Yes I remember acting straight. Especially when I was in deniel about my sexuality. I would get so uncomfortable when someone would ask if I liked a guy or if I had a boyfriend. At one point I think it was written al over my face that I wasn't interested in guys, but know one ever asked if I was gay. One day I just decided that I wasn't gonna lie anymore about how cute I thought some guys where. I'm not out to everyone yet so when someone mentions a cute guy I just nod and get this fake smile on my face. I hate those moments.
     
  15. preacherskid83

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    So true. Gay or not, a hottie is a hottie, and I shall look upon them and smile
     
  16. coastgirl

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    yeah. I mean, I won't lie, some guys are attractive. I just don't find them sexually attractive. It's weird...I get confused sometimes because I can be physically drawn to a good looking guy, but honestly I wouldn't want to kiss them or hold hands with them. I like their appearance and that's about it.
     
  17. Raeil

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    I know I deliberately never listened to Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, etc. because I was under the impression that if I listened to them, then my friends would know I was gay... Yeah, that was pretty dumb. I also attempted to go out with two girl, which also didn't work out, but other than that I've never consciously acted "straight."

    However, I did a LOT of acting "asexual." My church had a major moratorium on relationships while you were in a youth leadership position in the church. This worked out great for me, as I was consistently in a youth leadership position, and I couldn't date anyone, let alone guys for the majority of high school. Of course, now I'm a Junior in college and haven't even gone on a date, lol. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  18. jll2755

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    Of course I did and still do. Just because I am gay doesn't mean I can't tell if a girl is attractive. So I still give my opinion. But I aslo don't hang out with a lot of guys.