Am I, or am I not bisexual? or gay? or something else?

So, this is my first post, but I am not good with introductions, so I'll go right to the point. I have been thinking about this whole sexuality thing for a while, and decided to join this forum to maybe get some help. As you can see, I am not sure about what I am, and when I say not sure, I really mean it. Until a few days ago, I was each day more sure about being, at least, bisexual, but then I talked with a friend about it, and he pointed out that those feelings, or at least a big part of them, can be because I am very very insecure about girls, and dating, and all those things. This kind of made sense to me, and I am not so sure about anything anymore.
I kind of listed things that make me thing I maybe bisexual, and things that make think that maybe I am just insecure and lonely and stuff, so, here it is:
Things that make me thing I am bisexual

• I like crossdress. Both the idea of doing (and, in fact, I did it, sometimes, when I was alone at home), and seeing on porn, and both kinds, men with women (with strap on) and men with men, but men with men a little bit more;
• I have sexual fantasies about doing oral sex in men, and it (both thinking and watching) turns me on (faster than regular heterosexual things);
• I find men cute/hot often. I guess I always did, but just now I start to accept it;

Things that make me think that I am straight:

• I LOVE boobs. And everything else on girls (I actually never really felt excited about vaginas, but they are cool, I mean ... I don't know);
• I am in love with a girl right now (platonic, but doesn't mean I don't think about her sexually), and that doesn't feel "wrong" at all;
• I tried to watch regular gay porn, but didn't worked (crossdress, on the other hand, turned me on on seconds);

So, that said, I will just add that I am virgin, what make things even more confuse. Other than this friend that I talked about above, I don't have anyone to talk with about those things, my college friends, well, there is just one that I maybe would trust enough, but ... I am not sure how he would react to this, and, as I said, even I am not sure about anything, and family is just not an option. And even this one friend, he lives on other state, and we just talk online, and I still don't feel comfortable talking about some stuff. That's why I made this anonymous account and stuff. Well, that's it, that's my mess, and any help on cleaning it up will be really really welcome.

PS: I am not a native english speaker, so, sorry about any mistake on the text, and please, feel free to correct any error, so I can learn!

 

Thank you guys, for the answers!

Lex, about the forced/degrading thing, I don't think this is the case. Actually, if there is anything that turns me down is BSDM (this is not a criticism, just a fact).

Well, as I said, I do feel attracted by her, nothing happened yet cause I still didn't found the guts to talk about it with her (she don't know I like her, but I am working on fixing this). :icon_sad:

So, here is the thing: I never really felt in love with a guy. I mean, I do have a friend, in college, and we have a lot in common, and hang out together often, but when something even close to "maybe I like him in other way" cross my mind, I just shake it away immediately. I don't know if it happens because we are just friends, or because I am repressing something (or because he is just not that pretty =P), and actually, it doesn't happen so frequently. As I said, I do look at guys e go all "Oh my God!", if you know what I mean, but that's pretty much all that happens. I've read some threads here, and I've seen a lot of stories about guys who had a crush with another guy, or girls who had crush with girls, and, as far as I can remember, nothing like that ever happened to me, all my teenager crushes (is this word right?) were girls.

Again, thanks for answering.

 

Yeh, kinda makes sense ... Also, my close male friends aren't really that cute :lol:

And, ..., could it (crossdressing) mean that, maybe, I am, I don't know, kind of transgender? I actually don't know much about this. As I said, I like woman's clothes , and I often think that man's clothes are quite boring. Sometimes, on videos, what really excites me is the clothes, not the woman who is wearing it. I am a little bit afraid of asking this, cause I guess would be way more difficult to me to accept that than being gay or bisexual, but, that's kind of the point of being here.
On this subject (of being here), I can't thank you guys enough, for your answers, and for this site. I am saying things here that I never said even to myself (like the previous paragraph).

 

I feel like I am being annoying by insisting, but the question I asked on the last post is something that really bothers me, so, an advice, clarification, comment, anything, would happy. Should I open another thread, maybe (or would it be even more annoying?)

 

Somehow, I feel more ashamed of this (liking crossdress) than of the idea of being bisexual, or even gay. I know I shouldn't. But I feel.