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poor, ignorant b**** -- i mean, soul.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by addie88, Sep 1, 2011.

  1. addie88

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    so i'm in marching band at school. and our director encourages us to befriend the incoming freshmen every year to make them feel comfortable. i met this freshman named Kelsey (i'm not attracted to her, that isn't where this is going) and she seemed really sweet and thoughtful and generally pretty cool. we became friends and talk every day.

    problem is, i heard something kind of, well...awful. i wasn't there when it happened but apparently kelsey was hanging out with like ten other people, and one of the guys in band (who happens to be gay) decided to come out of the closet to the group. and everybody was all supportive and saying "good for you" and all that, but apparently kelsey muttered to herself "that's gross. i'm christian, and i don't believe in that". the only person who heard her was another friend of mine who told me about this (thankfully the gay guy didn't hear).

    so what we've all come to realize is that she is heavily under the influence of her parents' opinions. they're all super christian and super conservative and she is basically just echoing their beliefs.

    right now, if i were to come out to her, her reaction would probably be to shun me and think that i am automatically crushing on her because she is of the female persuasion. and honestly, i'm not really all that offended by it because i see her as a girl who lets other people choose her own beliefs for her, and generally she's just, well, ignorant. so i was thinking that maybe if, over the next few months, i were to get pretty close to her as a friend, then maybe i could tell her and she would change her mind about her beliefs. like people have said on this website before, it's a lot easier to be prejudiced against a certain type of person until one of them is your friend.

    is this plausible? i think she's young enough to intercept the brain-washing process her parents have inflicted upon her... what she said about that guy who came out to everyone was shocking and painful for me at first, but now i'm beyond it and i just don't want her to hurt more people's feelings in the future.
     
  2. Witchcraft

    Witchcraft Guest

    Well some people can be reluctant to change their opinions. Considering that she has grown up her whole life with those values I doubt she'll change her mind so easily. But if you want to come out to her be ready to be shun out like you said, because it will take her a while to at least consider changing her mind.
     
  3. Toneth

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    not at all, I find that ignorance people learn as a child has a serious tendency to stick around until they're older
     
  4. addie88

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    it's so stupid. i think that being open-minded is one of the most important qualities a human being can have. that, and compassion.
     
  5. paper person

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    I would not set out to be her friend just to hopefully make her more openminded. Also while what i think you want to do is great, just dont expect any miracles.

    Good Luck