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getting more and more depressed as i come out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by canadaboi, Sep 2, 2011.

  1. canadaboi

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So this summer I have made it ever so memorable, within the two months of summer I managed to come out to a total of 6 people, when i'm with this people i am so happy, i get to be myself with no lies, i can say what i want and not have to ever repress anything i feel. Life is great when i'm around this people but when i'm not i feel like crap, i haven't yet told my parents so being at home is awful for many reasons including the lying to my parents, and now with school just a few days away i'm dreading it cause things are going to go back to the way they were last year, being that kid in the closet. The more people I tell the more depressed i feel, cause i know how great it is to be out and be myself, and i know the simple answer is just come out to everyone and there will be no more lies and you'll feel great, but i just don't think i'm ready for it, i don't think i wanna start my senior year by being the gay kid, I don't know what exactly i'm asking for here i don't exactly need advise cause i know what i need to do to feel better but i guess i'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, like i have avoided situations where i'm going to be with people i can't come out too, i find the more people i come out too the more depressed i'm starting to become, so thanks in advance for reading this, ahah
     
  2. ICTOAUN

    Full Member

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    I feel exactly the same way! I also came out to six ppl over summer. And now that I'm back at school.. I feel secretive. I wud love to just be myself all of the time, but unfortunately, my family isn't understanding when it comes to homosexuality. And I don't think I'm ready to come out to my entire school. That is a big step. I've learned to be myself with out giving too much away. Like wearing boy jeans or agreeing with my friends that a girl walking by is pretty. I just don't HIDE it. I'm being myself with out flaunting itand I figure .. if people want to just assume I'm gay. Whatever. They can ask me, and maybe ill tell them the truth. I just let ppl wonder. As long as ppl don't say anything prejudice, I don't mind what they say. This seems to help me with those depressing thoughts. I know its not truly being yourself. But its a step.
     
  3. maverick

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Alabama *cue banjos*
    If you are still living under your parent's roof, you should be aware that statistically, as of 2009, 26% of queer kids (LGBT) are kicked out of their homes. That's like a one in four chance. So if you were thinking of coming out to your parents, you need to figure out what kind of support net you have outside of them. You need someone who is willing to pick up your orphan ass for a few days should your parents need a period of time to cool off and process what you've told them. But that really depends on the personality of your parents. How do you think they would react?

    As for coming out at school, I don't think you have to formally out yourself or anything. Just be yourself and if someone asks if you're gay, just say yes.

    If you're in your senior year, I'd just go ahead and come out at school. You're already top of the food chain, and if you have the swagger and confidence to back yourself up, I doubt anyone will mess with you, at least to your face (and fuck anyone who talks behind your back, you know?) I presume you're going on to college or something after high school anyway. If you're out your entire senior year, you can be comfortable with it completely by the time you graduate and enter the real world or college.

    In high school, to a lot of people, you represent one of the few gays they will "know" in their lives at that point. So if you're confident, if you have a good sense of humor about it, if you can foster some contempt for anyone who would heckle you, then you can thrive as one of the gay kids. I personally think a sense of humor is key. You have to let insults bounce off you and have some witty retorts put aside, just in case.