Do straight guys cuddle?

Are you wondering if he's gay or not? You should tell him you're gay. At the very least he doesn't sound homophobic and if he's straight he's definitely pretty comfortable with his sexuality and I find these people are always the least homophobic. If he's not gay you have a good friend who knows your secret and can help you along the way. If he is gay, you could potentially have a relationship. From what you've written the situation seems like win-win as long as he doesn't turn out to be homophobic.

I'm not sure if this is a right thing to do but at one point, to see which of my friends were homophobic I'd make fun of homosexuality and see who would call me out for being a homophobe.

 

Your friend has a boat :eek:?

Haha anyways i assume he has never done stuff like this before so I wonder what brought it on? It could be that he is just really touchy like my best bud, or that he is testing you and maybe thinks you're not straight? It's hard to tell.

 

I'm guessing that, though rare, some straigt guys engage in some brotherly cuddling. Your story sounds a lot more romantic than that to me though

I'd say that letting him know that you're gay would be a good way to gauge what he is making of this situation or to otherwise let him know that continuing this interaction could be confusing for you.

I'd like to comment though that making fun of homosexuality is NOT a good idea. It could potentially lead to hurt feelings or maybe even make him shy away from you if he turna out to be interested romantically.

 

I was going to say you dont know.

But then I read on further. It seems to me a little more than just a 'cuddle' maybe he is straight and is very comfortable with his sexuality. OR maybe he is trying to hint to you because he thinks you might be Gay. It really is a hard one to choose from.

I would come out to him, I doubt from what you have written that he would be homophobic given the events. He might tell you he is straight, and if he says that then we will obviously or hopefully be there to support you.
If he is Gay then you have a possible friendship or maybe even a relationship.

Keep us updated.

 

No, it probably wasn't. My intention was to always come out right after though. I was younger and it made sense at the time.

 

Let's assume he's straight for now, but come out to him as gay and see how he takes it. I doubt he would be homophobic about it and who knows...maybe he's into dudes too.

 

I say come out to him. It appears to me, at least, that he thinks that you're gay. From the sound of it, he's either trying to show you that he's comfortable with it or, less likely, he's into you. Assume it to be the first so that if it is, you're not disappointed, and if it's the second, it's a bonus.

 

Take this with a grain of salt (okay a large grain) because I'm still figuring out my own sexuality:

What you have with your friend sounds very similar to the type of relationship I have with a best bud/close guy friend. Personally, I'm pretty sure my friend is straight and we are just really comfortable doing the same sort of thing. And sure people ask, but it's just a bromance. The key to the situation being this case is that the best bud actually talks to you seriously about it. My friends and I had that awkward conversation and just agreed we are comfortable friends.

But based on what you wrote and the differences of your situation from mine, I would be inclined to say that your friend is giving off some strong signals of something a bit more than bromance. Sounds like you two were in each others arms for quite a bit. And he said he was going to be with a bunch of girls but canceled. Sounds to me like he canceled to be with you. My two cents are that he is into you.

But the only way to know for sure is to talk to him about it. Yes, it's going to be awkward, and yes, it's going to be uncomfortable. But with a bit of tact, it can turn out for the best. I hope it works out for you = )

 

I'd come out to him. Straight guys do cuddle, but when they do it is:
a) Because they're very comfortable with their sexuality; or
b) They are themselves somewhat interested in the same sex.

From what you were doing, I may very well say the latter. The chance of him being homophobic is very low, and the worst that could happen is that he takes any 'bromance' as being a sexual advance. Inevitably when you like someone you'll read into what he does far too much. (When I was crushing on a straight guy, I almost convinced myself that because he super-freaked out whenever a guy touched him, he was a closet gay, but that's beside the point).

It'd be in your best interests to come out, he could very well be thinking the same thing. But if it does turn out he's straight, make sure you don't fall for him, otherwise that could just ruin your friendship.

 

I don't think anybody is good at reading people when they are in these type of situations, I know because I have been in your situation!

I would try and avoid this because if he is straight then you don't want to be too heartbroken, it could ruin your friendship.

 

i would not listen to george right now. The fact is you will have to come out eventually and you cant closet yourself with him forever. If he is really such a good friend he will either accept you or get over it. Coming out now gives him an opportunity to check himself so he is not going to keep doing things that may be perceived as romantic if you tell him. On the other hand if he does feel like he likes you then it gives him the opportunity to tell you. Also it prevents the issue of coming out later and him feeling like you where letting him act like for other reasons outside of your friendship. In a lot of ways it could be really good for you and your friendship and it will help prevent you being stuck in a position where you are head over heals for him and come out as such creating a real problem for you and him even before you come out.

That being said there is still the risk that your friendship won't survive. If he thinks he is getting romantic with a "straight" guy and that's why he is ok with it then you could see him retreat. Or he could be uncomfortable after that experience since you came out and could read to much into it. Also its possible simply his initial reaction could be to want to be away from you for whatever reason wether it be to analyze his own sexuality, your guys relationship, how he feels about it etc. Then however he may come back and ur friendship could be better.

I'd just make sure to clarify that you are not coming out because u are into him or anything. And just make sure he knows you are telling him because you two are close and you feel like he has the right to know. Hey for all you know he already thinks you are gay and that is why he is acting that way, to either bring you out or because he is the interested one. just be ready for anything, the sooner you do it the sooner it will stop stressing you out. You can deal with his reaction later, theres no real way to predict how people will act anyways.

 

I just wanted to wish you good luck to coming out to your friend. Who knows what's going on, but he does sound like a cool guy, straight or not!

 

sounds like you have a really good close guy friend that genuinely likes you as a person. also sounds like even if he is not gay, he is ok with gayness. so it sounds like you can let him know about you if you want to do that. i would not ask him if he is gay though. i think people offer that information up when they want to and when they feel comfortable and so i do not think one shoudl be asked if they are gay. also, i do not think it would be good to tell him you have a crush on him when you tell him you're gay. that could weird him about. i woudl see how he takes the news of you being gay and what he says. i also think that if you notice he is still touching adn being affectionate to you, you can ask him later about himself or tell him that you want to be honest and ask him if the situations are him just being friendly or if there's anyting else happening that maybe you dont know about. just dont force or hope for things though.

 

Aww, your story is so sweet! ^-^ It does sound like a potential romantic interest, if not then a really healthy friendship. I also vote you come out to him--if he's as good a friend as you say he is, then he'll understand. I wish you the best of luck!

 

So you aren't out, and he may be gay... but this isn't necessarily the case. Don't get your hopes up. Keep a slow pace, and find a way to come out to him (if you are ready). You can't help who you fall in love with, but you can help with how you deal with it.

I used to be best friends with this kid named John in high school. I made a really, really long post about it on my first or second day on EC. He is straight, but we used to "cuddle" all the time. Not really in a spoon-cuddle kind of way, more like resting our heads on each other. If you were to take a picture of it, most of the time it didn't really look that romantic, more like two brothers using each other as pillows. We never did the head-to-shoulder rest, more like he would lay his head on my legs when I was laying down.

My friendship with him turned very, very sour. Not necessarily because I was gay, but I think it was because he could tell I really liked him, and he wanted it to stop.

Just don't mislead yourself, and good luck!

 

I have to say that you are in a better position right now than I was with my friend John. I let it go to far, and you put a stop to it at the appropriate place (for now). I am glad you took a bit of time to sort out your emotions; and look, it paid off!

It's okay to be upset, but as you said, you still have your wonderful friend.