Hi, I'm Ethan, but please call me Envy or preferrably Emily. About a month or so ago I discovered the possibility that I was transgender after being depressed for several years. Originally I thought it was because of my cousin's death in a car accident several years ago, but I have come to terms with it and am still depressed. So a question came up, do I like myself? I always said no and I discovered that I don't like my male physical body in the slightest. So I did research for 4 straight days and came to the conclusion that I was transgendered. There are several things to ask: Am I transgender for sure? And if so, how do I deal with this? I've told a few friends and family, but I can't tell my parents. This is hard for me...please help
Without a few more details, we really can't help you towards resolving this issue. Let's begin with this question and see if we can get a bit more information: what signs/signals are you receiving from yourself that makes you think you are transgendered?
Well for one, the way I walk and act is very feminine. And I notice my voice is rather comfortable at higher octives. I've also tried cross-dressing and I actually feel more comfortable in thoses rather then my regular clothes. I also read that being more close with female relatives rather then male ones is a sign too but I'm not sure about that. And I realize how sexiest some men are too.
I really think you should explore the subject more, as well as your own self and desires, before jumping to a life-changing conclusion. I am not saying that you are/aren't transgendered, but that sort of conclusion is something you should make after serious consideration of your situation. I say this because there are many gay men who speak at high octaves, cross dress, and are closer with female relatives... and these gay men are not transgendered. In the most basic way possible to describe being transgendered, it is the state of being born a different gender (mentally) than what your physical gender (read: sex) indicates. For instance, a woman trapped in a guy's body, or vice-verse. How much research have you done on the subject so far, and how long ago did you start thinking that you were possibly transgendered?
I've looked at several websites, finding the differences between transgender, transsexual, and cross-dressors. I also watched the nightline episode on transgender people on abc last week. Technically, it has only been a month since I have even considered and accepted the idea, but I look back and it has been since childhood. I remember wearing my mom's clothes, I use to play with my cousin's doll house, my best friend's sister use to put makeup on me, and I had a molly the doll which was rather ashamed to have when I was young because my parents thought it was wrong.
Hey! welcome to EC! (*hug*) With both of us being in the same boat i know what your probably going through, I came to my realization about 8 months ago, it was all very confusing at first for me aswell. It took me a little while before i understood wich one i belonged to... after a lot of research i told the counselor i was seeing (about my depression) that i wanted to transition. Things started moving then... slowly, but moving i think! Currently waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist. I've noticed theres quite a bit of waiting involed
Perhaps you are. My suggestions on how to proceed would differ depending on how old you are, and if you're out living on your own now. Either way, just operate on the assumption that you're correct. That you're MtF, and you're interested in living as female. You might not be able to make many moves in that direction right now, but you can presumably make preliminary plans and plot a course of action for the future. Lex
I won't pretend to be an expert on this other than what I've learned by reading on the net and knowing myself. For me it has been something that wasn't quite as it should my entire life, so nothing I suddenly discovered. My female side has been there—and obvious to me—as long as I can remember, I just got good at hiding it when I was a teenager. Maybe it can present itself later in life? I don't know ... Or maybe you've not considered that explanation of how you feel before? You didn't tell us your age ... One suspected cause of transgenderism is the body's exposure to hormones in the womb. For MtFs it is predominately the lack of androgens which will lead to a brain that doesn't develop completely into a male brain and thus defaulting to female to some degree or another. One way you can check if you had too little androgen is to check the ratio between your index finger and your ring finger. Equal or close to equal length indicates low levels of androgens. Most females have that. So do many MtFs. Mine for instance are exactly the same length. Lack of androgens will leave your body less masculine, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything other than just that. Finding out where you are on the gender identity scale is a puzzle. These are just a few pieces. Some pieces you can find yourself, the rest you need to see a professional to figure out. Radical and irreversible life-changing choices should not be made easily.
Thank you And I noticed my ring and index finger are very close to the same size. And I'm 20 years old.
Feel free to ask questions if there's anything you're wondering about. There are several of us here with similar experiences to you, and we tend to have thought much the same things throughout
Hey Envy, a bit busy at the moment, but later tonight I will try and post links to some other EC threads in which the transgendered community here has talked about their experiences being transgendered in great depth, so maybe you can get some insight as to whether it's a condition relatable to you or not. Welcome to EC, by the way.
That would be great actually maverick. Only been here a few weeks myself, and would love to read what others have posted in the past. There should be a sticky
Well, for me, as soon as I realized, I stopped being depressed. That's how I knew. You won't know for sure though until you've waited a bit. I'm almost to the 5 month point of my realization. I'm telling my parents on the 6th
Thank you Veronica and everyone else And that would be really nice Maverick. Actually, I do have another question: how did you know what your sexual orientation was? I mean, I'm still a virgin and I've kissed a girl a couple times and a guy once. It just bothers me not knowing for sure and all my straight friends say watch plenty of porn or what ever, but I don't think that is the best solution.
Would you date someone transgendered if they were still their birth sex? I need help am I trans ftm? Trans or butch? [Envy, you can just imagine the argument as, "Trans or femme?"] Helpful Info for Transgenders from Kiersten
I don't think defining sexual orientation is all that important. I mean in some societies, both at present and in the past, you don't distinguish between gay and straight like people tend to do in Western cultures. I can only describe my orientation as I have experienced it so far. I have met both attractive guys and girls, but I have only been sexually attracted to women, and only had sexual experiences with women. But I am also somewhat asexual, so maybe I am just drawn to femininity. I don't know, and it isn't all that important to me either. I am on the fence on the whole porn thing. All that I have learned from it is that I don't care much for penises, and so only Lesbian porn has some appeal to me, but porn is mostly artificial and boring and just stuff going on on a screen.
