Hey guys, I'm a guy from Belfast, and basically cannot accept that I'm either gay, bi or whatever... Either I'm in deniel or just genuinely confused. Whatever I am, as painful as it is to say, I'm not straight.... Ughhh why me? Anyway straight to the point, cause I'm that kind of guy, so I'm just wondering, was there ever a perfect time in your life that you knew that was the right time to come out? Or was it during a fight, when you where pissed off, when you had enough, or when you where really upset and couldnt take it anymore? Was there a particular point in you life when you thought to yourself, "Yes this is the right time". Like a strike of lightening telling you to go for it, "everything will work itself out?" Thanks for reading, your replies are much appreciated. A- _______________________________________________________ "Our greatest enemies are always the ones we never knew we had in the first place........
You're actually very lucky. You just can't see that yet, but that comes with time. You're gay/bisexual because that's who you are, and that's perfectly alright. Yes I have to say that I did have one of these moments. I was feeling very alone and isolated and I hated that I had to lie to people. I just sort of realized that you only get one life and I'm not getting any younger--if I don't live now, when? I know it sounds very cliched but you won't find happiness unless you're chasing what you really want, you can't live for other people, or let them decide how you should be happy. It was around Christmas and I had been spending a lot of time with my family and it really depressed me that they didn't know who I really was, and then I watched "Shelter" online and that pretty much pushed me over the edge. I came out to two of my best friends the day after Christmas, and then after my brother came out to our mom, I came out to both of my parents and that was that. When it's time you'll know, I don't know what else to say.
Hey, I don't know what you quite mean when you say that I'm lucky? I personally do not see how I'm lucky at all. Being this messed up and not being able to deal with yourself, its like an endless battle with myself, I just don't know why you'd say that was lucky. :-/ Thanks for the advice, it has helped, waiting for that moment when everything seems perfect to let lose my deepest darkest self, it might take a while. But its some closer knowing that their might be a perfect time. A-
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. ----Khalil Gibran I really do believe that. I'm sure everyone would agree too. All of us have gone through what you're dealing with right now but it really does make you so much stronger and empathetic as an individual when you reach the other side, which is something that a lot of people will never have or even begin to understand. As LGBT people and a community we're free to be whoever the hell we want to be, and we're accepted for it. We aren't tied down with expectations of children or a marriage if we don't want it. We're free to chase our dreams and our passions in way that straight people usually can't, and I think that's a wonderful thing. You should come out when you're comfortable, and that just takes a while, but you'll get there eventually--someday you'll probably look back and wish that you had come out sooner. ^_^
Thanks that really does mean alot. Maybe someday I'll see it. But I completely get where you are coming from. I'm usually quite a strong character, but with all this, I can't handle it and wish things would just go 'normal' for me. Whatever that is, although I do respect all the people who have the will power and courage to come out and be themselves, I truly hold my hands down to you's, you's are truly awesome honest people.You are what I call 'real'. Not like this artificial idealistic world full of pain and gain. Nice advice there, thank you ever so much. _______________________________________________ "For every dark night, there's a brighter day" - Tupac
(*hug*) I don't think you are in denial, as you admit you are not straight. Relax, give it time, you will work yourself out in the end. I also felt like "why me?" when I first was questioning, but I've slowly realised that it is fine, we are as good and as normal and valid as straight people. I came out to my older brother first, a very spur-of-the-moment thing. I knew he would support me and that he would not tell, but turning the doorhandle to go into his room was still so hard. I picked a time when my mother was out so I could be sure she wouldn't know. i was hoping to come out at school somewhere in this coming term, but it ended up being a couple weeks before school ended in the summer. We were on a class hike and a boy remarked that I should think about getting a boyfriend; I didn't see any reason why I should not come out, so I told him "... or a girlfriend.". I didn't know how everyone would react, I hadn't planned it like I had hoped to, I just thought, "What the hell, it can't turn out tht bad, can it?". And it didn't.
