So I posted on here a few months ago and received the most overwhelmingly kind support. However, I feel like I have made zero if not negative progress. One day I'll begin to accept myself the next day I'll convince myself its because I haven't met the right guy. I just don't know what to do, I'm frustrated. I wish that I could figure this out so I could move on.:bang: I think a lot of my issues stem from what if I tell everyone and then meet a guy I like, then I look like an idiot. At the same time what if I meet a girl and have to tell everyone I know. Everyone knows me as the straight girl that thinks guys are hot. I just don't know! As dumb as it is I have fears that I can never have that normal life that others have (kids, a family, a princess wedding.) I have fears about bringing a girlfriend instead of my boyfriend home to Thanksgiving. Now I'm rambling. I'm sorry I just needed to get this off my chest once again and this is the only place I can turn too.:help:
Your fears are not dumb. They are extremely relevant and valid because they are yours and I will tell you that I have shared those same fears and I know many other people have/do as well. You are likely not giving yourself enough credit. Right now you are in a state of questioning and that is alright and even here progress is being made. Being able to identify the fears you have in regards to your sexuality is an important step in becoming comfortable in your sexuality. Oh and I feel you on not wanting to say one thing and turn out to be another. That's something I'm struggling with right now. I'm not sure how to define myself so I for the most part just identify as queer. It's up to you whether or not to adopt a label that you find restrictive. Also if you want to tell people you are attracted to women you don't have to do it by saying, "I am lesbian". Instead I prefer to say, "I am woman who loves women" or something along those lines so that my sexual identity is more about who I am attracted to as opposed to who I am not. But that's tough because I know there is pressure to be this or that and to know for sure. Good luck.
Part of your problem is that you didn't stick around! Hanging out here in EC helps you get comfortable with being gay. You're interacting with others who are in a similar situation, and you're seeing how they are dealing with the same problems and concerns that you're facing. I think many of us have shared your concern. Sexual orientations aren't black orwhite and cast in stone - they are shades of gray and fluid. So if you're not sure yet, don't make any bold announcements that would tend to paint you into a corner. At the same time, making some kind of acknowledgment that you're at least questioning would allow you to date another girl without feeling totally uncomfortable. Try not to think too much about the distant future. The fact of the matter is that gay people lead very ordinary lives if that's what they want to do. They can have children and homes and boring jobs and live in the suburbs if they want to. (Hi - that's me! :smilewave) and it doesn't have to limit the kind of life you want to lead.
No, you'll just look openminded at best, and mildly confused at worst. It's not dumb at all. I just found out yesterday that my brother is having a kid. My dad made a joke about me having one too because he wanted to "pass on the intelligence". :lol: I told him that I didn't intend to get pregnant, and when he asked why, I had to tell him because that was something I preferred my wife to do (if she's interested in having kids, that is). A few days ago, he was talking about my brother's wedding and said something offhand like, "Now we just need to get you hitched." My response was, "They have to make it legal first." My point is, you being gay is GONNA come up in conversation eventually. There's no getting around it. So better to just laid it out there with a good sense of humor than freak yourself out about people's reactions to it. ^ I am struggling with this too. I don't know whether to define myself as a butch lesbian or a transgendered guy, so I just tend to define myself as "queer" too. And I prefer to tell people, "Yeah, I'm into the ladies," because it doesn't even get into the question of my gender identity.
