My message may come across as a little disconnected, but I hope that y'all can bear with me because not all my own thoughts are coming in coherently. So tomorrow, there's a club meeting for the Queer & Asian Club on campus, but I'm rather hesitant in going. I'm unsure of whether or not to attend because I don't think I'll be able to commit, and because I am just entirely nervous about it in general. Have others experienced this kind of anxiety before attending his/her first LGBT-related meeting? I don't even think my "worries" are even being articulated correctly, but I hope that some of you can still make out some kind of general idea. To be completely frank, I don't think I really want that "support network" that would entail from being part of this club. I'm so very accustomed to dealing with my sexuality on my own that I find it difficult to even imagine undergoing it with others. Perhaps a quote from The Hours sums up my attitude most aptly: "I wrestle alone in the dark--in the deep dark--and only I can know. Only I can understand my condition."
i went to one. it sucked. safe yourself the trouble and just deal on your own and keep these people out of your business.
You won't have to commit to anything. If you find out that the club isn't for you, then you can just not go to any more meetings. You probably could just go tomorrow and observe, rather than actively participate, just so you have a chance to feel out the group setting before properly involving yourself.
Well you have an interest in going. If you don't go you'll be wondering what you missed out on. Just go check it out see what happens. If you like it then you do if you don't want to commit then you dont. Most clubs on campus are just social circles. They really don't require that much commitment unless you volunteer for some of the big activities.
^ Just because your experience sucked doesn't mean it'll suck for everybody. Most people have a better attitude than you do. OP: My advice is to just go check it out, and have fun. You're not signing your gay card for life or anything, you're just going to hang out and try to meet some new folks. Don't sweat it, and you'll be more relaxed and make a better impression. You gotta keep in mind that a lot of the folks there will be as anxious as you, especially if it's their first time as well.
I found it rather liberating to attend my first 'gay' meeting. I was nervous before I went, but the earth kept spinning and the sky didn't fall. In the end it wasn't a big deal, and I felt better for having gone. I'd say you have nothing to lose and much to gain. I don't really like your quote - because I don't think you should equate being gay to having a 'condition' and it shouldn't be something that you need to 'wrestle' with over the long term. You might be struggling with coming to terms with it right now, but you'll be over that before long.
I'm going through something very similar right now. I'm really nervous to go to the LGBT organization on campus. But like others have said, if you don't go, you'll never know, and that's the attitude I'm going to take. I'd rather go once, have a miserable time, and never go again, than never go, and never know what could have happened. Ultrabluecheese, on a side note, I love your Star Trek avatar and your Voyager quote. ST: Voyager is one of my favorite shows of all time!
I just recently went to my first LGBT meeting and I found it to be amazing. I was really nervous before I went, but it was totally worth it. Also if you find that you do not like it then don't go back.
Thank you, everyone, for the input. I think I will attend the meeting later tonight, and hopefully, I'll even enjoy myself! I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I'll make a few friends here and there, and the world will only get a little smaller. @ Jim: I'm sorry if the quote offended you, but I did not attempt to equate homosexuality to a "condition" at all. What I wanted to say was that the "condition"--that is, the human condition of seeking definition and forming our self-image--is an ordeal with which we all must wrestle. Whether or not we endure it with the company of others makes little difference, for it is still our own problem to solve. @ Alex: I would love to hear of how your first meeting will have gone as well! Hopefully, both of our experiences will be in our favor. Anyhow, ST:V is the shizznit, and while I know it gets a lot of flack for not being "Trek" enough (whatever the hell that means), I fell in love with it and the crew. Plus, Seven of Nine is hot, B'Ellana is relentless, and Capt. Janeway is badass.
Hope you have a good time! It seems you've got the right idea. Even if you don't need the "support network", it's still nice to have people with whom you can discuss this stuff openly without worrying about what they might be thinking. And that alone is a good reason to go. Lex
