Hey all... So ... I am coming out... I think. I am in the process of finally admitting to myself that it wasn't just all experimenting and college fun but that in fact I might be gay.. I have so many questions, thoughts, fears, concerns... And it seems that the GLBTish people I do meet or know are lumped into categories.. the "I don't even have a closet anymore because I have been out for so long" group or the "wait.. I'm not gay or bi-curious I just like the dance clubs" group.. Anyway... so I don't have people to talk to about everything that's happening.. no one seems to want to help out the newbie... and there's only so much u can get from the L-Word (lol)... My straight friends seem to be supportive but there is only so much they can relate to or so many places I can drag them to. I stayed in the town where I went to college because it was away from home and life (gay or not) would be easier away from family and their extended problems, even though it's a drastically more conservative area (south) than my hometown (north). I guess where I stand now is... just the need for support... and I don't have that physically so thats why I came on here. While my friends are being supportive, alot of them also hold the stance that I am not a lesbian and just belittle my involvement with women as college fun and attribute my "relationship" with a particular one to being mesmorized/fascinated/etc to a beautiful lesbian. Part of their reluctance is due to the fact that I have been seriously involved with men in the past. Whether it be their denial or their actual beliefs I don't know, but either way it's frustrating. All the literature (online and not) keeps telling that "you just know if you're gay"... well I don't just know. I would think it's more of a self-realization process. Am I right? I need help... I am scared, uncertain, excited, cautious... I am coming out.. Words of advice on anything would be greatly appreciated...
well I don't know if I have any advice, but I can tell you that I am 24 and only figuring out that I am bi this year. So...thats not everybody who just knows, there is at least one other person. I felt the same way when I started looking on web sites and things, that everyone was so young, and that maybe I should have known earlier if I was going to be bi now, however I guess I am just not like those people.
Welcome to EC! No - not everyone "knows" they are gay. Never mind 24... try being 35 and finally figuring it out! So just hang out here and get comfortable with the concept, try on different 'labels' and see which one feels best. No hurry...
I don't know very many people who "just know" that they are gay. It takes a lot of soul searching (and heartache) to even realize that maybe, just maybe, you aren't straight. People have to realize that it is solely up to you who you have relationships with. You don't need to answer to anyone. Men, women, or both, whatever makes you happy and feels right. Dealing with friends who think it is just a phase can be frusterating, but try to be open and honest with them (whether they accept it or not) and find someone who makes you happy. I hope you find the support you need, from EC and you friends.
