HI, sorry to bother you all, but i recently decided to accept that i am MtF trans. i have known scince i was about 13, and i am now 22, i wanted to stay acting like the good old son for my mom but i feel like i am about to crack. now i am at collage and i wish to start looking and acting more "me" but my parents are opposed to any and all forms of gender deviation. and all forms of body modification save for minor piercings and tatoos that can be hidden, so its a fair certainty that i will be disowned so i will be doing this on my own. can you reccomend any support groups or ideas that may help? thank you for taking time to read this and if you reply i thank you for that as well. I also plan on joining the schools GSA well they call it SAGA
Well...sometimes you just have...to deal with the parents, they will likely come around eventually if they actually care for you. But the fact is you're an adult now so you can live your life however you choose
Chances are your parents will be upset or disappointed for a while but I don't think you'll be disowned over this. A lot of parents are disapproving for quite some time and end up coming around. But you are an adult now and the decision to do this is your own and they should respect your wishes. There's no use playing the role of something you're not. Do you think it would help any if you gave them any information on PFLAG? Maybe you can consider that? If not, then I say just go ahead and do what makes you happy. You are in college now and should be free to display who you are.
This is where I'd like to have some excellent advice. But I'm not any further along than you are. Except that I am older and my parents no longer have a say in my life. You know, at some point during life, the coin flips and you're the one having a say with what your parents do I'm in the between stage. But I did become very independent in my early 20s. You are an adult and you have to run your own life. You don't want to be miserable the rest of your life just to conform to your parents wishes, parents that you no longer depend on. Of course you have a special relationship with your immediate family, but they are also just people.
Parents can just be liek that sometimes..to close-minded..well a lot of people can be to close-minded but u just got to go for it.u cant hide who u r.if they actually care about u they will eventually coem around.i know it hard.i think i mite be trans(ftm) and i am scared to come out to my family if i am one but when the time comes around i will.You are who you are.Beautiful in ur own way.
Dont think that being disowned is a certainty! You dont know that for sure... Don't let this make you change your mind, everyone is entitled to a piece of happyness. If transitioning will make you feel better about yourself dont let any bad thoughts stop you.
I came out to my mum as transgender & afterwards things became even more unbearable at home since I couldn't be myself. I ended up just moving out & I plan to go it alone for my transition as far as family goes. Maybe I'll come out to my parents again after I've started hormone therapy & I have a much more female appearance, as I won't be able to hide anymore (ie breasts), & then they can decide if they still want to be a part of my life or not. Since I moved out, I have the freedom to dress the way I want around my apartment, so I can actually be female in my appearance now at home. I've also started to work on skin care & begin the task of doing research on all of the things I need to do to qualify for hormone therapy & GRS bottom surgery. Honestly, I can even buy the clothes I want now too. Sadly, I have no LGBT support groups on my college campus, so I'm starting to consider starting one, even if it's for selfish reasons, just so I have people to talk with IRL. The only thing I could find in my area was one psychologist who's worked with LGBT people before, so I plan to start gender therapy with her in October when she returns to her office. I guess the point of all of this is you will have to do what you need to for yourself, regardless of if your parents will support you or not. One of my biggest regrets was waiting so long to come out to myself & start myself on my journey. I'm 36 now and I've known I was a girl for sure since around age 8, but started questioning around age 6. I almost got o the point where I am now when I was 26, but then I became too worried about everyone else & what they would think & how they would feel. Try not to fall into that trap & do what feels right for you. As for places on the interwebs, there are some resources I've found, so if you google around, you should find them too. Also, check YouTube, there are plenty of transition videos that are helpful, definitely check out Andrea James & Calpernia Adams, both are big inspirations to me & both have fully transitioned from MTF too!
And even if you are disowned, it might not be permanent. My parents disowned me when I came out, and I didn't just lay the dyke bomb on them, I came out straight from the get-go as transgendered/transsexual FtM. Now (almost a year later) we're totally cool. Well, they aren't at college with you, are they? :icon_wink My parents are against tattoos on women. I got one (a big one) in college. My parents are against short hair on women. So I shaved all mine off. And guess what? They still love me. With great deals of exasperation, but it is a pure unconditional love nevertheless. And my parents are extremely conservative. Are you seeing a pattern? :icon_wink You could look into seeing a gender identity therapist - there are usually a few psychologists in every place that deal specifically with gender issues. Not only will it help you wrap your head around the whole transgender thing, it will give you scientific legitimacy when you come out to your family if you've already seen a professional about it. They'll know you're being serious then. This is a good idea.
