Hey guys!!!!.... So I've been thinking, and a constant feeling in my head continues to tick the clock. Ever since I've been young, I've always known that there was something there, in the back of my head, lacking, that I never wanted to face. I always got trigers that I was gay, although I would quickly reject and ignore these feelings even from when I was as young as 12. On the most oddest of occasions, when I was freaking out after a condom ripped, 'Oh its okay, I'm gay, I can't have kids', yeah I know thats stupid and that it could've happened. But thats what I remember saying in my head. When I got picked on in school, I use to always think, 'wait, what if I am gay', what would I do? They'd be right and I'd be wrong. Then I always told myself, 'If someone tells you something often enough, you start believing it'. Then I would always say, 'well if I do turn out to be gay, I won't give in to it, I'll find a girl settle down and never give into this temptation'. I always told myself, 'thats what I'll do, because there's no other way out, I cant be gay in this world'. So I continued, living my straight life, hooking up with girls. Being the person I imagined would look good on the outside, to please other people, and ofcourse, never to let my guard down. Athough this feeling still struck in my head:bang:, here I am only 20, and can't focus on anything else but this stupid feeling. I just feel that because I'm 'supposedly' the average straight guy, people talk, and I listen. I hear straight people refer to someone because of their orientation rather than their looks, where they work or what school they go to. I always have this gut feeling that gay people get treated like second class citizens, I don't know if this is just me, or is this naturally what people feel like. I guess I'm trying to say, this is what the average 'straight normal' people have drilled into my head. Is this the case or am I playing mind games with myself. Your help is very much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this long post. A.S
There are definitely people out there who will treat gay people as second class citizens, but those are the kind of people that you just have to try to avoid associating with. However, there are tons of straight people out there (especially our generation) who couldn't give a rat's ass about your sexual orientation (and I mean that in a good way). Also, sometimes people will make disparaging remarks about gay people because of the crowd they're hanging out with (i.e., they feel like to fit in, they've got to say something demeaning or whatnot). They may not, however, really feel that way. Perfect example is my roommate: when he's around his fraternity brothers, he starts making offensive comments about gays, just like the rest of them. However, I know that that's not really how he feels. He really doesn't care one way or the other; he just says those things to fit in.
AGH! I know exactly what you mean!! I'm seen as the typical straight guy at my school too, even though inside I know I'm gay. I have these two girl friends and they always make rude comments about gay people. I really would love to come out to them, but they make these...comments, so then I know I can't :bang: I think every closeted gay person feels like this is going on. That's the REASON we're closeted! If people would just wake up and notice that there is nothing wrong with being gay, it would be a whole lot easier for us to come out. Hang in there, and know that there are people feeling the same way.
I hear ya. It is very common talk. My friend that I came out to will still call people "faggot" and it really stings. It is not about their orientation but just as a word and I think that's how most people think, that words don't hurt so they continue to talk like that. So just look at it like this, you can't take what people say in conversation and judge them by it. It may hurt but until you talk to them you won't know how they actually feel. Don't let words hurt you, stand strong and be better than them.
I know exactly what you're talking about. Before I had come out to anybody, I used to hang around these people that were making all these homophobic slurs and such, and it really messed me up inside for awhile. It was like, if only they knew, ya know? But then I got away from those people, and realized that they are just ignorant. Basically, in a nutshell, some people are just assholes, and you can't really take what they say to heart.
just thought id share something i witnessed in school today. my class was walking to a meeting and there were two guys walking in front of me. one was a total stupid douche. the other was a hyper gay guy. the douchey kid walks up to the gay kid and says "what up faggit" super loud and in a very mean tone. the gay guy hits him in the stomach and was like "dont call me that. thats not funny dude. im serious". and the douche was apologizing for the rest of the period! it was awesome. i wanted to high five the gay kid or something haha.
I share your pain. I have a position of minor importance at my school, in which I have to do announcements. I had to do an announcement to Year 8s and 9s once, and now they think I'm gay, which in Year 8/9 speak, is like being a rapist. :bang::bang::bang: Hence, when three of them (all younger brothers of people in my grade) came up to me, I said I was straight. Just to save the trouble of actually telling them. It's the immaturity of calling people 'gay' and 'faggots' like its an everyday insult which essentially ensures that no kid in their right mind would out themselves until much later in their education. Thankfully by the time you reach 11 and 12, people have gained some form of maturity.
Well I know that if I hear the word fag, faggot, queer, dyke or other derogatory LGBT terms, I speak up and tell the person or people saying that, "that that is not ok to say and to mind their own business. Who cares who people f***?" I have gotten several bewildered looks, and some rude comments as a result but at least it heightens some awareness. ---------- Post added 9th Sep 2011 at 07:18 AM ---------- I think it is our job as the next generation (wow that sounded a bit star trekkie), to stand up and comment on these little comments or prejudice and little by little we can be the change.
