Hi, I'm from Scotland and I'm a lesbian. I'm out to my mum and am perfectly happy for other people to know too. My mum was fine with it, I know my dad and uncles will be fine with it, same with my aunt's on my mums side. But the problem is my gran. Shes always travelling with my grandpa but I see her a lot when shes home and i have never heard them say a bad thing about lesbians/gays, come to think of it, they've NEVER said ANYTHING even hinting towards LGBT people... and today when I was on FaceBook (everything I write is only shared with specific people.) I wrote stuff like "Lets get one thing straight, im not " and "Im as straight as a circle" and she commented like "what on earth are you talking about? are you insane?" and she put like a dozen !!!!!! and ?????????'s. she also has all these plans for my cousin Deni (a year younger than me, my best mate," and my 16 week old cousin Jude, and i mean plans like what type of girl there going to marry and where, shes even urging my little cousin Cameron too get a boyfriend! SHES 8!! she hates me for "acting and looking like a boy all the time" and when I cut my hair she was like "Why did you do that? do you WANT to look like a boy?" well, yes gran, I kinda do! so I really love my gran but I'm scared to death about coming out too her, I mean about 3 hours ago I was really excited to tell them all, but now im terrified! any advice would be great! ps i have a social worker and a therapist, I don't know if that would that help in anyway? :icon_sad::icon_sad::help::help::tears:
I think you already did, and I think you already got her response. You should reply back to her comment, "Are you insane?!?!" with, "Nope, just a clamdigger."
It could be that she had simply not heard the expressions you used before and didn't know/understand what they meant. Is it that important that she knows? I mean, I will never come out to my EXTREMELY conservative Christian grandfather as he will never be able to understand, but it doesn't look like this is the case with your gran. As it is, you could try talking with her about something LGBT to get her views (for example, the ban on MSM giving blood is about to be lifted, which may lead into a conversation about homosexuality), but remember that people can be more condeming of gays in general than when someone close to them is gay. The best of luck with telling her! (*hug*)
Welcome to EC! First of, congrats on telling your mom and glad that she took it well! Have you talked to her about coming out to the rest of the family yet? Maybe she will be able to help you tell them or help you figure out a way to handle everything with the rest of your family. Grandparents are sometimes tough to tell since they are an older generation with completely different experience than us. An idea would be to come out to your immediate family first and then tackle people like your grandparents and everyone else. That way you can have everyone support before you tell your grandma and its less likely that your grandma will react too badly if she says that most of your family is okay with it. Also, have you come out to your therapist yet? That could be very beneficial for you in figuring out a way to deal with homophobic family members. That's if your therapist is supportive. If she is not then I would suggest to get a new one
All old people are homophobic. You probably shouldn't have expected her to take that lightly because a lot of them haven't even jumped off the racist bandwagon yet.
^ I wouldn't say that everyone who is old is homophobic. There are multiple examples of accepting grandparents out there. There are also plenty of examples of grandparents who don't "accept their lifestyle" but still love and support their grandchildren, which, granted, is not the best position, but its also not the worst.
I know you werent trying to offend but actually not all old people are homophobic, I came out to my Grandpa when I got with my girlfriend, he was 89 at the time and she was accepted as part of the family and invited to his 90th birthday party just the same as if I was dating a guy. Often old people are only homophobic because of the society that they grew up in. I think it might be the case that your gran didnt actually understand what you meant, coming out to people (especially people you think may react badly) is very scary but perhaps if you explain it to her she will be more supportive, perhaps you could ask you Mother to help, being as she reacted well.
^ That. I don't blame my grandparents because of what they think about me liking guys, but they still love me and want me happy! Unlike my mom, condemning me because of that. I consider it ridiculous, mom is 40, she obviously grew up on a society more open than my grand parents, yet she is completely homophobic.... Disgusting...
It may be she doesn't "get it". In which case, I wouldn't press the case. You can either confront her on it (which sounds like it might get sticky) or just let it slide. I personally would choose the latter, but that's me. Lex
BS, not all old people are homophobic. I know an 87 year old guy that has no problem whatsoever with gay marriages. I have had an few friends that have come out to their grandparents and they were really accepting of it.
It sounds like your gran could be a bit. Remember some older people are less open minded than others. Then again maybe she was just worried that people would maybe hurt you because of your status's on fb, bullying, etc. I do think writing that on fb might of not been the best way to let her know. I suggest you just wait and talk to her in person. She's loved you her entire life, I'm sure in the end she'll become more understanding. I don't have much experiance in coming out, although I thought I'd share my opinion. =D Good Luck...
