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What is the best way to come out to friends at school??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Zak, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. Zak

    Zak
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    :bang: I want to tell my Best zfriends that Iam gay, b/c he deserves to no, but IDK how to do it. the only ppl i've come out to aremy mom and sister!:bang:
     
  2. George1

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    [hug] One of the biggest mistakes I made was telling some of my friends. Try to keep it in you for as long as possible and if they NEED to know, then tell them. And make sure they won't condemn you for it..

    Think about it - you're only thirteen. Throughout your secondary schooling life you will change your group of friends dramatically. I'd say wait until you're a little older until telling anyone. Friendships can change a lot by then, and your best friends might even slowly begin to 'suspect' (for lack of a better word) you're gay and which would lessen the blow when you tell them.

    Good luck! [hugs again]
     
  3. justjoshoh

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    You know who you are, and if you are ready to share that information, just bring it up in casual conversation. Fear not if your social dynamics change, as they may change for the better. I am reminded of a quote from Dr. Seuss, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." If you lose friendships because you let someone know who you are, what was that friendship really based on to begin with.
     
  4. tiptoerainbows

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    I'd say be careful too, I want to tell my friends as well but I am being cautious as being teenagers not everyone is as mature as you think they are about this kind of stuff.
     
  5. Louise

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    Ooohhh, tricky one. Inthecloset has a point but if the fact of not telling your best friend is getting you down and weighing on your mind then it is probably better to tell him.

    Ask yourself a few questions about your friend first :
    - how long have you been friends?
    - how does he feel about homosexuals?
    - is he a loyal friend who will keep your secret until you are ready for it to be told?
    - why do you feel you need to tell him?

    In the worst case :
    - are your ready for him to tell your class mates if you have a falling out?
    - what would it mean to you if he no longer wanted to be your friend?

    If the answers to these questions are reasonabley rassuring then you just need invite your friend over to your house and have a serious chat with him. Tell him straight, don't beat around the bush you can just simply say something like. 'You are my best friend and I really want to tell you I like boys, I don't really like girls that much.' Then reassure him that you are not hitting on him, just telling him the truth so that there is no misunderstanding between you.

    Good luck.
     
  6. pirateninja

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    Test the waters with his stance on homosexuals if you don't already know. Then you might have a clearer idea of how he would react. Sometimes talking about it like this brings up the question "Why are you asking me this, though? Are you gay?" sometimes these questions just allow you to confirm it rather than say "I'm gay".

    Good luck! I hope it goes well!
     
  7. CrimsonThunder

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    If you tell him, I wish ou good luck ticky. :slight_smile:
    He is your friend, he will be your friend no matter what, if thats what he truley is.
     
  8. Zak

    Zak
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    Well, I'll always be part of the preps foreva, and Ive known him for over 7 years. He is fine about gays, He is a prep too. i've already hinted him how he feels about gays, he said "fine." so, im considering it. TYVM for your advice, id be totally lost if this site didnt exist.*sigh* The thing is, if Im gay, and the preps dont like it, im booted down to like, nerds, I can't risk my popularity that much. But i have this 40lb wright on my mind and I have to get it off. If I tell him he will most likely accept me. He also acts really gay,hmmm, i wonder if he is gay or bi?He is moving to another town tommarow and Ill have to talk to him before he does. Im staying home from schol today b/c I am sick, so I can't talk to him. Ugggg... I hate my life. It is sooooo complicated.