Is she a real friend?

Hey,

Based on what you've said, it does sound abit. I'm in the same position with a friend of mine. It is pain and I'm only her friend when it suits her, she says one thing and does another, she strings me along and even though I know that, I still let it happen. Right now I havent texted or rang her, I'm letting her come to me. If she doesn't shes not worth it, if she does, I'm going to tell her straight that I'm not an option, thats not what I call real friends. Maybe you should do the same thing, I know how hard it can be when this happens. Espically when you think the world of the friend. But time can only tell, you could always have it out with her dude.

Good Luck

 

I can completely relate to it, it sounds like my friend Nicole all over. I can basically tell when she's lying, although not having prove of it, its hard to confront her about it. Nicole use to be friends with my constantly, with me, we use to hook up, she use to be inlove with me, then we just became best friends, now I don't even feel like I know her anymore. I havent properly seen her since May, I remember this because this was her birthday. Its sad because me and her have been through so much together.

I guess people move on, although I know she'll be texting me next weekend, asking me down cause shes got a free house, I don't know what I'm going to say yet. I'm a tad fed up just being her friend, when it suits her.

When a friend backs out at the last minute, sometimes I feel like doing the exact same thing, but I always tell myself not to steep down to their level. Your friend sounds like she can be an ass. Did you confront her when she put the bottle of cider up on fb?

 

This situation sort of reminds me of something that happened between me and my best friend. All throughout high school, we were as close as you could be. He went through some really trying times with his family, and I was the only one he would share his struggles with. He even moved in with me and my family for a short while.

Then I moved away to college, and he stayed in our hometown and went to school there.

For a while things went alright, but last spring, things really reached a boiling point. I was off of school for a week and came back home. We were talking a lot less by then, and hanging out when I had come home previously had been an issue (trying to balance a lot of people who want to see you plus my family wanting to spend time with me is a tad difficult). So I invited him to a basketball game with me, we had great seats but he didn't seem too into it while we were there. Later that week he wanted me to do things with him, but I always backed out because either I wasn't interested or his attitude was pissing me off. Finally he told me off on the phone because I wouldn't go to a movie with him and his girlfriend. He said he was frustrated that every time I wanted to hang out with him, he would do it, but when he wanted to hang out with me, I would find an excuse not to. We didn't speak for the next two months.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was kind of being like the friend you described in your posts. I had begun taking his friendship for granted, and just assumed he would always want to do something with me, even if I never did anything he wanted to do.

It took me that next two months to realize it. I had a really terrible family situation, needed his advice and support, and that's what caused me to go to him, apologize, and get things back on track. Now, things are better than they've ever been.

I'm not saying to go tell your friend off, but perhaps they need a little "tough love"? Sounds to me like they're taking your friendships for granted and just assume you'll be there whenever it suits them. Reminding them that friendship is a two-way street might not be the worst idea. They'll most likely get a little pissed off, and then either realize the error of their ways, like I did, or decide they don't really want the friendship anymore. And if its the second option, then to me its far better to not be friends with them, because that's not the kind of person I'd want as my friend.

Good luck with your situation!

 

Hey,

Atleast you realised at the end, we've all been there, and did stuff that we regret. We sometimes 'lose the moon, while counting the stars' <<< Just a nice way of explaining it.

I guess you could say in a way, what happened between you and your friend, made you's stronger, you know not to do that again, because you nearly lost a true friend. You know who your real friends are, just look to your side, whos always standing beside you??...

Yeah its when it suits her, she actually text me today, but I just never replied, giving her a taste of her own medicine. I know shes going through a difficult time, and believe me, I relate to her, for example, we hadnt properly seen each other in months, and she text me telling me that she needed my help. (when it suits her, doesnt want to know me any other time). Well anyway, she thought she was pregnant, and wanted me to drive her to get a test, keeping in mind she wouldn't tell me who she had slept with, because ofcourse, she probably knew I'd never approve, none of her boyfriends have liked me, mainly because they are scumbags and I was always protective over her. I wasnt going to help her, but then I thought, thats not me! If I was her, I'd want someone to step up for me, help me! So I said yeah tomorrow, tomorrow came and she found someone else to get a test with apparently, ditched again. Makes me so angry. She's lost all sight of her friends, family and her life. She's on her route down to a dark dark place, and I've warned her at the beginning, she just didn't listen, and this is where we are now. Sorry for the ramble dude.

 

It really does sound like my friend, I'm no longer answering her calls and texts because I've just come to a time in my life where I actually needed her, and she just doesnt care enough to ask, 'How you doing'. I've been here for her the past 8 years, I love her to bits but I guess we have to be cruel to be kind. I don't think you should call or text her again, let her come running to you, because people like her, always do. Espcially when they need something. I know I'm not going to sit around and be spat on by her.... Again. Not worth my time or effort anymore.

- Aiden

 

Wow, that's pretty cold on her part.

Part of me would want to go "all guns blazing" at her and really nail her to the wall over this.

However, that's probably not the smartest thing to do. I'll tell you honestly, from reading your posts about her, she's not the kind of friend I'd want in my life. If I were you, I'd cut her loose as a friend. Let bygones be bygones. She's not worth having a massive row over. It doesn't sound like she's bringing anything to the table - she's just causing you aggravation.