It doesn't really sound like a good idea, but really, its causing so many problems between me and my mom being in the closet. And I really don't know if I'm ready to or not, but today I went out into the living room with my chest binded, forgetting to take it off. Because when I'm alone in my room, I have my chest binded to help with dysphoria. Now I'm 14, and my mom knows that I'm trans, I know she does, but she wonders why I don't tell her the truth when she asks. Here's what went on today, like I said I went out with my chest binded, and my mom raised her voice and said, "Take that sh*t off, you don't do that sh*t. Don't start." I just looked at her and was like "Oh god," And she said, this time quietly cause my cousin who's 11 was over, cause I watch her after school. She said, "Next your gonna ask me to get you a binder!!" I was in my head like, "Oh, you read my mind, mother." But I wasn't gonna ask yet. I wasn't talking, and she said, "What is this your plan? You keep hinting at sh*t, I wish you would just come out and fuc*ing say it." I looked at her in complete shock. She is very bigoted when it comes to transgenderism. She says she'd be embarrassed to be seen with a transgendered person in public. She picks on Adam (Who's transgendered on Degrassi.) And just she wonders why I don't tell her this crap. On the internet, there's a website my sister is on, and I came up with I would post something on there saying my thoughts and how I wonder why do people insist on knowing whats between someones legs when they don't want to have a physical relationship with them. And that I was transgendered and that it was time because it was causing so many problems. My mom wants me tell her? Okay, I'll tell her along with people who will see it. Good idea or bad?
Anything, and I mean ANYTHING, that you do while angry is a bad idea. Trust me on this, cause I get angry very easily myself. And if your mom already showed hers opinions on the subject in such a strong way, maybe it's better not confronting her. Not now, at least. I mean, I have my own big problems with my mom (not so big as yours, perhaps, but big, anyway), and haven't figured out how to solve them, but one thing I know for sure: don't do anything while angry, you will regret, soon or later.
In general, I don't think it's a good idea to bring up any topic in anger. It sets a negative tone right from the get-go, and you'll be more likely to say things you'll regret later on. It does, however, sound like she already suspects, and is waiting to hear you confirm it. Now, before recommending that you come out to her, I need a bit more information. Do you feel you'd be in any kind of danger, physical or otherwise? Is there a possibility you might be kicked out of your house? If so, it may be best to stay closeted for the time being, and find some support outside of your home before you take that step. But if you aren't in any danger and you feel ready to tell her, then my advice would be that the next time she lashes out at you, look her in the eye and say calmly, "Okay then, I'll say it. Yes, I'm transgendered." And then walk away. Give her some time to process it. If you show yourself to be calm and self-assured, she may be less likely to lash out in anger herself. Remember also that parents of LGBT kids often have to go through a process similar to the grieving process: denial, then anger, then depression, and finally acceptance. In her mind, you are not the same person she has always seen you as, and this may take time for her to accept. Good luck.
I told her that I want to be boy, and that I was attracted to girls, but she said, "Lets wait a bit, and see if its a phase." So, I'll talk to her more later. Thanks guys.