Hey guys, I'm in somewhat of a bad situation, and am in need of some advice. I have a friend, who about a year ago I was going out with for a little while. Nothing really eventuated from it and we remained really good friends. He now has a boyfriend. I've liked him the whole time, but understood that he's in a relationship so I kept my distance somewhat. Anyway last week we happened to both be drunk at the same time, and he admitted he had feelings for me. I lied and told him that I didn't, as I felt bad telling someone in a relationship that I liked them. Later that night I noticed he was quiet and acting completely unlike himself, so I went over to talk to him. Unfortunately by this point the evils of alcohol had kicked in and I did admit that I had feelings for him. After this I thought it would not be wise to stay around so I caught a cab home and have been purposefuly avoiding him since. I never saw myself as the type of person that would somehow come between two people in a relationship, but I feel that's what I have done here. Although there is no doubt in my mind that their relationship will end soon for other reasons, I still can't justify to myself having that sort of conversation with someone who has a boyfriend, and I feel sick to the stomach that I did it. Any ideas what I should do?
Hey, There's one thing that you havent noticed here, well atleast I don't think you have, you havent actually came between them, it was your friend that distanced himself from his bf. You tried hiding your feelings, for the right reasons, but sometimes loves overrides the biggest rights and wrongs, it sounds like to me that you didnt make a move, just an expolosion of emotions, about how you felt for one another. You said they will probably end up breaking up for other reasons, I suggest if you really care for this guy, talk to him, be honest with yourself, don't spend your time wondering what if? Just do it! Take that chance and talk to him, otherwise you'll regret it dude. Good Luck Aiden
You simply acknowledged that you have feelings for him. You didn't say "Please break up with your boyfriend and be with me." As long as it didn't/doesn't go beyond that, then you don't have any ethical dilemma and haven't done anything wrong. On the contrary, you wisely took a cab home because you realized that, if you didn't, something might happen that wouldn't be good. If he decides his current relationship isn't working, then he may break up with his bf, but that isn't your fault. While it's true that he might break up knowing that he has you waiting in the wings, it's still his choice, and, at least as you've described it, I really don't feel like you've done anything wrong or even unethical.
You didn't do anything wrong, but I feel sorry for your friend. He's got to be on quite the ride right now. You might want to talk to him about it. More than likely he's going to be too afraid to tell his boyfriend. I'm by no means saying you should tell him but I'm just saying that it would be a hard thing to admit to somebody that likes you. Try to give your friend any support he needs.
