So I am in the coming out process, and I have pretty much reached a stalemate. I have told select friends, I am in college and have a couple gay friends, but I can't seem to push myself to go to the LGBT meetings or groups similar to it or tell anyone else yet. I want to start actually living my life, but I feel hindered still even after I started coming out. Is there anyway to get past this? Or did I start coming out before I was truly ready?:help: I am really confused. :bang:
Hi there, First off congratulations on coming out taking the first step is always a big one and you would of felt a relief after telling somebody. Only you can know if you came out early we haven't got a lot of details to go on. Are you scared of going to a LGBT group or meeting? Maybe you could go with a friend for the first time?
Hey, I know the feeling dude, its hard, I'm in that process too, although I'm no where near telling anyone, I basically need someone to talk to so therefore I'm going to a LGBT centre tomorrow to talk to someone. As hard as it will be, I'm going to push myself and just go for the sake of myself, I seriously need to confide in someone. It seems like you want to go, and you have absolutely nothing to lose, so go for it, once you get over the bit of actually going, it won't seem like a big deal after all. I honestly don't think any of us feel truly ready, like me, I think we are all waiting on that letter telling us we are definitely gay/bi/straight, but its doesnt work that way. Take one day at a time, say to yourself your going to a meeting, then say your meeting new people. No strings need to be attached dude, just do it, everything should fall into place. Good Luck
I wouldn't push yourself too hard, you've done the hard thing with starting to come out to people who matter and it's great you've been so accepted! That's definitely an achievement not to be forgotten! As for the LGBT club, I'd bet a number of the regulars were in your case once, are your gay friends at your college and if so, would one of them go with you for your first meeting, if they don't go already? The club wouldn't be any different that on here, actually - full of LGBT peps and happy, friendly people, just in real life and not digital! :lol: I'd go have fun there when you feel up for it. Thinking actually, do any straight friends want to join you, I'd love to go to a LGBT group! Also, I don't think you've started coming out too early, there's no definitive time nor place, everyone does it at their own pace and you take it as fast or slow as you like. I think the only way you came out at the "wrong" time would be if you were forced out of the closet.
Rosina pretty much said it all Have you talked to one of your gay friends about wanting to go but being nervous about it? Maybe they can drag you along or give you more support. Either way, like people have already said, coming out is more of a process than an event. You will get there when you get there, but don't forget to enjoy yourself while you get there! I say push yourself and go for it. Promise its less scarier than it looks
Coming out is different for everyone. I did it over a period of years - partly because it involved my kids and I wanted to time it right for them. So you don't need to tell everyone. Maybe you don't need to explicitly tell anyone else. Just carry on with your life as if everyone knew you were gay. They'll figure it out based on things you say (or don't say) or the university clubs you attend. Good luck!
Thanks everyone for the great advice. As for the gay friend, he is on my campus and he would take me if he didn't usually have to work. Now just had another problem added to the pile. I have another club meeting on the same day and time. I guess that just went out the window, but I guess that doesn't keep me from going to their office and meeting the officers of the club. As for the feeling of coming out to early, that stems from I think I have complete screwed myself up when it comes to being able to distinguish different emotions towards people. Example being, there is this girl in my class that I think likes me from how she acts around me. And knowing this doesn't excite me to say but does make me happy knowing. Almost to the point where I would like to get to know her. But then again, nothing sexual ever arises from the thought so obviously no sexual attraction there. On the coming out thing, I have been pretty much doing the just being out thing. Where you don't directly tell anyone you are, aside form close friends, unless they ask. I don't pretend that girls interest me, don't talk about them or about sex with them. And from things that I have mentioned I support, I imagine people of my other organizations will figure it out one way or the other. So from this I became afraid maybe I came out as gay when maybe I am more bi. I rate myself a 5 on the Kinsey scale currently.
