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How can I get over a gay crush?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mellowish, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. Mellowish

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    Ok so as the title says. I have a gay crush on a really close friend of mine and i really don't wanna have a crush on him because we are good friends and i would rather not ruin that. He is straight and i do not question that but he does act gay sometimes but it's always jokingly and it kinda hurts me plus it sometimes gets to the point of feeling guilt whenever i play along with his jokes. We text each other everyday as well. I really hate it and i just really don't want to be crushing on him anymore i just want to have a good friendship with him and that's it. Anyway back to the question: how can i get over him without really cutting off contact with him? or will i have to cut off contact with him, which i really don't want to do.
     
  2. Kawi1100

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    Go find someone to date and your feelings for him will deminish. Since he is straight there is nothing that will come of it, so the easiest way is to get out and find someone to date. We're all guilty of "thinking" things mean something when they really don't just to keep the crush alive. Put me at the top of the list, but acknowledging when you do it and put things in perspective. Since you want to keep the friendship going, the typcial things I'd suggest won't work, which is to distance yourself from him.

    A crush can be an emotional rollercoaster, so knowing when to get off the ride can be difficult. I would say it's time to exist the coaster and move on.
     
  3. george678

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    Nothing will come of it.
    Maybe tell him that you have a crush on him and ask him to reject you then maybe your feelings will go away.

    You know nothing will come of it so maybe when you do get a boyfriend those feelings will almost certainly vanish!
     
  4. Mellowish

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    I appreciate both your answers i really do. I guess i should try to distance myself from him but finding a boyfriend will be problematic for me to say the least, especially since i'm still in the closet and haven't told anyone yet. :/ i do see where you are both coming from with getting a boyfriend to help my feelings for my friend vanish. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  5. Eric

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    I'm going to go against the advice given to you and say that dating while in the closet and maintaining a relationship with a crush at the same time is usually a recipe for disaster. You should never date someone to get over someone else. If you're going to be in a relationship with someone, it should be because you're interested in that person. In that same vein, however, becoming interested in someone else isn't a bad step. Just don't jump into something if you don't want to.

    Having been through the whole crushing on a friend thing a few times, distance has always been beneficial. I'm not suggesting you have to cut yourself off entirely, just make yourself a little less available for him. If you see less of someone, you're obviously going to become less interested in them. Distancing yourself from a friend, especially when you have a crush on them, is hard, but it's probably the best thing you can do.
     
  6. Mellowish

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    Yea i see what you mean by how hard it is so i decided to just not text him today by deleting his number then when he texted me i ignored the text and it's kinda hard to distance myself from him so far cus i'm so used to talking to him everyday. i just hope that when i get over him and if start talking to him frequently i'll start to like him again. That's slowly becoming a fear of mine now -___-