You would think getting to my age you would have it sorted. But nah here I am same place. I have spent my life living with being gay and in and out of relationships. Recently came out to some close friends who have been great, still haven't told my Mum and just dont think I can. I am more than comfortable being gay but just cant take that next step to make it my life. Its so silly really but I dont find it easy. Ive walked away from relationships cause I could see the impact to my life which scared me. How selfish and self destructive is that. As a result I am very lonely and just dunno what to do now. I kind of threw myself into work for many years but now thats not going so well for a lot of reasons I am really feeling isolated and alone in the world. I feel now age is against me as well and I'm not going to get the chance again. Sorry for going on but appreciate any advice.
I'm 45 too and your life is far from over. Actually there is a psycholigical term for what you are going through but it has left my brain. Seeing a psycholigist might help you work this out though. It seems like you are kind of stuck. You've figured out who you are but you don't know how to embrace it and be happy and whole. Have you thought about seeing a psycholigist?
