Cant convince myself its not wrong

I used to feel the same way, but eventually I adjusted and became more comfortable with myself. It takes time.

It's definitely natural to be gay. It's unnatural for a gay person to force themselves into being straight. Nature makes some people gay, some straight, some bisexual, some transgendered, etc.

 

I just posted this today in another thread, but I think it can fit here as well.

And yeah, I think it's pretty natural to be gay. I mean, attraction is a basic, natural human response. The person it's towards shouldn't be the deciding factor of whether it is natural or not.

 

To echo Aeon, it just takes time to accept yourself. It took me a while, but I do now.

Being gay is not unnatural.
Homosexual behavior in animals - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

As you can see, gay behavior is seen all throughout nature. Just because you can't procreate doesn't mean that a relationship is pointless. If that were the case, then a lot of straight relationships would be pointless, too - fertility issues, choosing not to have children, etc. Example from my family: my aunt's first husband died, and she remarried in her late 50s. Now, she was too old to have children by that point, but that doesn't mean their marriage means less.

 

There's some crazy static out there that we've found: there's at least 1500 species in nature that show homosexual behaviour, be it 'mating' for life, looking after young or indeed, having sex. Of these, only one shows problem with it: Homo sapiens. So the answer to your question of this being natural or not: it's certainly 100% natural.

Why are people gay, straight, bi, trans, pan, queer, asexual or something in between? Well, it's do with brain chemistry and the way we're wired, it just happens, like how some people like chocolate, others don't; some love the smell of cut grass, others will stay well away from it; it's just the way we all are and it's perfect and natural and beautiful. If we were all the same, the world would be very boring!

So why all the conflicting emotions that you feel? Blame history! It's brought us the now, frankly, out dated taboo of being an LGBT person; you'll find the oft quoted line in the Bible, something along the lines of "should a man lie with another man like he does a woman, it is an abomination". What does it all mean? Back when the Bible was written, not many children would survive childhood, there was a higher demand for manual labour in fields and surviving life was a tricky game. It wouldn't do have men sleep with other men (nor women with other women for that matter!), what on earth would that achieve? You'd get no very essential and useful children out of it, it was just a waste of time; you take two men out of the system back then for some hot steamy time together and it could have gone tits up (pardon my French) for all we know. So the Church thought enough is enough and slammed this line in Leviticus to try and stop such (then) foolish behaviour; this passage has been pulled out and drummed into our heads ever since and it's about time it needs to stop!

We all eat shellfish, wear mixed fibre clothes, shave our facial hair, have outlawed slavery and selling one's daughter (for the most part) so why on earth should we have this silly little rule against doing what comes naturally? It's no crime to love those who you're attracted to, so go ahead and live life to its fullest, for those who care don't matter, and for those who matter, they don't care

Just my few dimes there.

 

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9WKW6fw7I4[/YOUTUBE]

 

when i get sad i just try to hid it

 

Does there REALLY have to be a purpose to loving someone based on your attraction? Whether it be straight, bi, or gay?

 

Wow this is a really challenging question and I don't know if anyone here can give you the right answer.

I, like most people here, didn't choose to be gay. I didn't consciously, willfully decide that in 7th grade I would only like guys sexually. I certainly didn't choose to have to go through all of the torment, the misery, and the degradation that is directed at gay people. I mean who would? Who would willingly choose to go through all of that alienation and depression on purpose. Life, frankly, is easier when you are straight. There was never a point in my life where I said (and it worked) "Yep, today I'm going to be straight. I'm going to like girls, their bodies, and all that other stuff straight guys like". I then wondered if I had done something wrong, like I had made a wrong move in some sort of game. But, there wasn't anything or any one event that could tell me definitively that this is the reason why I was gay.

But, being me, I had a lot of trouble with that answer. I mean if society tells me that it is wrong and unnatural then there must be something to it right? So, I read around, took a few classes and nobody could tell me why it was unnatural. I am no expert but what I found is that nobody really knows. Scientists don't know why homosexuality exists, they don't know why it is around a constant 2-4% of the total population around the world, they have no clue what would trigger a baby to become gay or whether it is an environmental thing. They have no idea why it happened in the past and why it still happens today. Sure there are heaps of theories - maybe it was a hormonal fluctuation of testosterone/estrogen in the womb, maybe gay people are beneficial genetically because of their indirect benefit to their kin (extra support for kin while having none of their own), maybe...well you get the picture. Religious leaders really have no idea either. I mean if homosexuality was such a bad thing, such an unnatural thing, why did they feel to mention it in their texts. If homosexuality doesn't exist in their timeframe why do they write about it. Plus, pretty much every religion and society in history has some sort of mention about homosexuality (or at least what they felt was gender weirdness)--from the Native Americans to the Vikings, from African tribes to the Chinese (the cut sleeve emperor), from the Greeks to Leonardo da Vinci.

But there is nothing that any of us can say or do that will make you stop thinking that it is unnatural. That is something that only you can do. The community here at EC can help to try to convince you(and your feelings) are natural by showing our examples and our life stories but ultimately it is up to you. Being gay isn't something that you chose--it came naturally to you. It is a part of what makes you, you.

Finally, and this is more of a personal thing, but after a while I really started getting annoyed that other people were telling me that liking guys was wrong, that it was immoral, unnatural, and sinful -- and then shagged guys on the side. That really ticked me off.

 

I'm in kind of the same position as you man, I can't see myself with a man in the future, I can't see myself physically walking around with a guy and being entirely okay with it. When I see gay people where I live, walking around, you sometimes know when they are couples, I just can't see myself do that, and feel okay with it. I can see it with a girl even though I think I'm gay, I suppose its got to do with the society and the ideas they drilled into our heads from when we where children.

For example, whats right and whats wrong initially comes from the government, if we had our own opinions from when we where children, that weren't filled and deluded with what they want us to believe. Then I think the world would be a completely different place. People think its wrong because we where told it was wrong if you get what I'm saying. It's like getting told, you will grow up, get a job, marry and have children, that is what initially is seen as normal, therefore we all want to do that, but thats what we are told, so in our heads, thats the right way of life. When really, its not the case at all, the societies in which we live in can only brainwash our minds so much before we get a mind of our own and then we start to question ourselves over whats right and whats wrong. Why do I feel this way? If its wrong, this isnt how the story is suppose to go. Its because we are told its unnatural, that we believe it. Sorry to ramble I hope you get what I mean.

Btw, Skyfire has the right idea.
-Aiden

 

Who said that straight couples purpose is reproduction? Lots of straight couples never had and never will have children, cause they choose that way. People get together because they like each other (or at least I think that should be the reason, some times it't not, but should be), and doesn't matter what gender they are.

 

i think that we all go through this. i know i did. there was a point in my life were i felt unnatural because i was gay. it made me feel uncomfortable and i started getting thoughts it would be better if i would kill myself. however as i started coming out i had a change of thought. and i never felt more comfortable being gay as i do now. and im glad i didnt end my life. im pretty happy now. I have friends that love me for me and i dont need anyone who doesnt.

Nobody chooses to be gay. we are born with it and you cant change that. imagine your sexuality like your hair. you can dye your hair blonde when its brown, sure it looks blonde but within the roots it will always be brown. ok now take your sexuality, You can hide your sexuality many times but you will always be gay.

anyways what you can do to not feel this way you can stop thinking about it. just do what makes you most comfortable. live your life normally. thats what i did throughout my last 2 years of high school. and my feelings got stronger about being gay and when i started thinking about it. and when i did i just decided to accept myself because i knew it was useless to fight it. i dont know if this will help you. but the least you could do is not hate it. That will only make it worse. try to embrace it. there are many like you and me. we are all normal. nothing unnatural about being gay . i dont know if im just rambling but i hope it makes a little sense..lol