So, I've got a date with a guy. He is also 19 and he's in most of my classes at the University. Let me give a little bit of background information and then ask a few questions. I don't know too much about him. He is really cute and always very sweet to me, but we haven't talked very much. I found out he was gay only a few weeks ago (I know him since February). As far as I can tell, he is a very uninhibited, cheerful and direct person. About a month ago, he started inviting me to parties. At first, I thought he was a very friendly straight guy (I was completely closeted at the Uni at the time), and I declined, as I don't like parties. He did it two more times, until a friend told me he was gay and she thought he was hitting on me. I still refused his last invitation, but I asked if he would like to meet me at a bar or café or something, and he said yes. I asked him to suggest a place and he still hasn't answered, but we are gonna meet tomorrow evening, probably in a bar. I, on the other hand, am a very inexperienced person. I've come out to my first person about two months ago, but I've told more people since then. I'm very comfortable with being gay right now, but I'm still too shy to talk to him in public (everyone knows he's been hitting on me, so it would be completely obvious if I started talking to him all of a sudden). I have never had any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with anyone, and I have never been on a date. That being said, I think I won't really know what to do when I meet him. I am confident, incredibly happy about the whole thing, but a bit nervous due to my lack of experience. I mean, I don't even know the details. How should I say "hello" when I meet him? A handshake? Assuming everything goes well, when is it appropriate to kiss (assuming we go to a gay friendly bar, for example)? What are the signs? How do you kiss, exactly? All in all, I'm a bit lost. I intend to act intuitively and follow his lead, but some advice would be immensely appreciated. P.S.: I can barely describe how excited I am about this. It really feels amazing.
Hey Bowie! I am as clueless as you, but I am really excited for you, and I wish you the all best. I hope it goes well!
Thanks, Marlowe ---------- Post added 15th Sep 2011 at 10:02 PM ---------- Ok, I've just got a message from him telling me that, due to a family emergency, he won't be able to make it tomorrow, which really sucks. I'll see when we can reschedule, but, until then, I'll still appreciate the tips.
Hi there, and congratulations for coming out and having your first date (almost) lined up! That's awesome, and I can imagine how excited you are! You want to really work on staying calm, and not getting too worked up over this. There isn't any secret handshake or mysterious rule to follow when dating another gay guy. Do your best to be yourself. I would think that if you've talked to one another on several occassions, you could greet him at the bar or coffee shop with a hug. You're likely to sit and talk and have a couple of drinks. When it's time to go, another hug, and perhaps a kiss on the cheek. It certainly doesn't need to go farther than that on the first meeting. (Disclaimer - I'm here in North America, and perhaps more conservative than you might be in Brazil. So I might sound like a complete flake. In the end - do whatever you're comfortable with.)
The whole point of a date is to get to know the other person, to see if you two are compatible. He'll be just as nervious as you, the fact that kept trying to get you to go out to things with him, shows he is at least interested. Go have fun
