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being confused about sexual orientation and depression/anger

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by needshelp, Sep 17, 2011.

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  1. needshelp

    needshelp
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    anybody here can relate? i remember some a good while how i would make excuses about why i wasn't getting any women, etc, at the same time feeling the way that i did. i don't think i would anything would have changed dealing with what i am doing with. i would still be miserable and unhappy.
     
    #1 needshelp, Sep 17, 2011
  2. fragomatrick

    fragomatrick
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    Yes. Everybody in the closet goes through it. Don't worry. This too shall pass!
     
    #2 fragomatrick, Sep 17, 2011
  3. Colton

    Colton
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    You know, I still feel that way every once in a while. Well, like once a week :/
     
    #3 Colton, Sep 17, 2011
  4. faultyat40

    faultyat40
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    Yeah. I felt like that a lot when I was first coming to terms with being gay. I hide it from everyone and felt so bad everytime I lied about it. I was so lonely.
    It was only when I suffered a really bad bout of depression that I realised that I had to do something about it. I was afraid that next time I would not survive

    First of all I had to ge well. The best advice I had was to go for long walks. My tutor at college who could see I was depressed (but not why) prescribed wellies and country walks. It was the best advice I have ever taken. Fresh air and exercise is better than any anti-depressant.

    When I was feeling better I started to try to come to terms with beign gay.
    I did three key things:
    1) I read about being gay (it was a gay bookshop as this was pre-internet)
    2) I looked after myself so I felt good about myself physically (I stil struggle with this)
    3) I made a list of people I could safely tell and ways to drop it into the conversation. I started with college friends as they did not know my family.

    It tool time and didn't always go to plan, but telling the first people was a huge relief. It was really me admitting it to myself.
     
    #4 faultyat40, Sep 18, 2011
  5. KaraBulut

    KaraBulut
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    I'm going to move your post to the support forum where you'll get more input from people who have been through what you've been going through...
     
    #5 KaraBulut, Sep 18, 2011
  6. mnguy

    mnguy
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    Yes, I can relate. I've gone through depression and anger about being gay. The sooner you can work through it, come out, get counseling maybe, the better off you'll be. If you can get past the anger about being gay you'll probably enjoy the rest of your life more, do better in a job, and be less likely to be depressed. Good luck and keep coming here for advice and to talk to others in the same situation :thumbsup:
     
    #6 mnguy, Sep 18, 2011
  7. faultyat40

    faultyat40
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    Yes I agree. Counselling is very helpful. Just having that space oncevavweek thatis just about you and where you do not have to be concerned about the other persons issues is hugely valuable
     
    #7 faultyat40, Sep 18, 2011
  8. needshelp

    needshelp
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    i think i'm going to need that. i was about to make a post yesterday about any resources i could get to find local lgbt centers that help counsel those that are questioning their sexuality or having trouble dealing with it. i was looking at this one place in manhattan but i don't think they can help people of my age group. they help people around the ages of 12 to 24. i turn 25 in a week and three days so by the time i start working with them, it's too late.

    and who's the hot guy in your avatar? :icon_bigg
     
    #8 needshelp, Sep 18, 2011
  9. mnguy

    mnguy
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    I really wish I knew :icon_wink
     
    #9 mnguy, Sep 18, 2011
  10. needshelp

    needshelp
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    is that you? :kiss:
     
    #10 needshelp, Sep 18, 2011
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