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I've had so many Mr/Mrs. Wrongs, so who probably is my Mr/Mrs. Right?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by don29002, Sep 17, 2011.

  1. don29002

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    I'm 15, a bi guy, and I just started my sophomore year of high school. (Yes, 10th grade) Freshman year I had a ton of scandals go around about me. The first was that I called my straight guy friend sexy on Facebook in a message to him, and he told people and that was October last year. Then I liked a friend of mine and I asked her out in December of last year but she rejected me (because it was online and I didn't have the nerves to ask her out in person) in December and this past April. She's the easy girl type and so she told me excuses "Donald I'm talking to somebody right now."
    And on the week before Valentine's Day my friend confronted me because I wanted to give another single friend of mine (her name's Victoria) flowers to show her I like her. She said "Hey you're giving Vicky P [Victoria] flowers?" I said yeah, and she says "Well why don't you ever get me any?"
    I know I should've given her a piece of my mind, but I'm the low-self-esteem-obsessive-with-girls type. So I said nothing for a while and finally gave in and said "I'll get you some and give them to you next week."
    I got them, but I kept them in my locker for over a week and they started to die and the petals started falling, so I didn't give them to Julia. (The friend I asked out in December and April)
    But I did give the flowers to Victoria on Valentines Day and she loved them, and said "Awww" like any high school girl would I guess.
    So also in April--or May--a while after I asked out Julia a second time (but this time it was face to face; the day before I heard her say "I hate it when boys tell you things like 'I liked you for a long time.' No." So that was stupid on my part) and I only really said "I like you." And she said "I like you too, but I'm talking to somebody right now."
    So from Julia once again I moved on to Victoria a few weeks later. I sugarcoated it at first but she got mad and told me get to the point so I asked her "Would you wanna go out with me?"
    She rejected me twice. I seriously should stop asking girls out. I'm smart (booksmart since I've never had a girlfriend; so my only "girlfriends" are--of course--my friends in school, reading, playing video games, TV, and writing my own song lyrics about things in my life.)

    I have an associate (we used to be friends but he's closeted in my opinion) named Brad who's in my grade. (Along with Victoria and Julia, they're still around) He was in 4 classes with me my freshman year: History, Biology, Algebra 1, and English 1. In Biology he'd bully me and mock me, and in the halls he flirted with me once. He told me "Donald when you do that thing with your big beautiful brown eyes [widen them] you do it like Miss Nava [our English 1 teacher] does it."
    I laughed. If I gave in and said what I really think about him (He's sexy and he seems like a sweet guy outside of school but in school I only know him from our classes together. Brad has a very fake personality; he tries to be one thing, but deep down I think he has confidence issues. Now whenever we see each other, it's only in the halls or in Geometry. We have period 6/7 Geometry together every day.
    So after the flirting thing happened, I hated myself for not flirting back. But it was for good; I can't go back and change things. I regret it but at least I'm still me and I stick by my principles and ethics.

    After the flirting happened, during biology a few weeks later for fake (I invited Julia to the movies with me as FRIENDS since I know how she's a user but she stood me up like I knew she would, and the week after I asked her why she couldn't come and she said she got in trouble and got grounded.) and of course I thought it was for fake, and after he said it in class in front of everybody I just rolled my eyes at him.

    So now that I'm a sophomore I know not to fall for every guy who comes around. I posted a question about a gay dancer where I live who I wanted to get to know as a FRIEND because I'd heard of him and saw him on Youtube in a video someone recorded of him ranting. I liked him; he had sassiness and he's confident and he's the Wendy Williams say-it-like-you-mean-it type. So the next day I messaged him on Twitter and wrote "(his name) is awesome!" Turns out he ignored my tweet--he never replied to me--and he deleted my Facebook message.
    He's not interested in me, and he seemed rude for doing it.
    So I've moved on.

    There was my friend Joe.
    He's best friends with my cousin Tory, but Tory controls him to use him for what he wants, and Joe's vulnerable I guess, in that he doesn't stand up for himself. He stayed over my apartment with me for 3 days but he was super nice to me. I told him I'm bi and he kept coming back. About Tory controlling Joe, I'm only myself, and I can do nothing about it. I fantasize about him everyday still, just like when he was here, but I had to move on.

    Now I'm a sophomore and I know to not fall for every guy. I have a high sex drive; thus my sexual attraction to all my crushes.
    I like girls too, but they don't give me the time of day. I have 2 best friends--Jen and Jenna. Jen is very beautiful and I've had a crush on her since we met freshman year, but I don't want to ruin our closeness. We're still friends now too. She's in my History class and we have homeroom.
    I also have a friend Michelle who's only in my gym class and that's our only class together. I think she's drop dead gorgeous and I've told her that. She usually wears glasses; the first 2 days of school she wore them and since then she hasn't. On the third day I told her she looks pretty without her glasses and she said "Thank you" with a smile. I'm hoping we become good friends later on this school year.

    So should I not date at all? And if I should should I wait to do it?
     
  2. Toneth

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    I can't answer all your questions, but I can tell you that there is no perfect guy, and that in high school it can be very hard to date someone, especially a guy, and that high school is when everyone is mean, so I'm sorry for that, but really just keep putting yourself out there and you'll find someone who is interested back, and until then try not to let it eat at you.
     
  3. Nollaig20

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    No ones perfect dude, but listen here, you are only 15, why are you looking for a long term relationship when most people in highschool are just playing people off one another. Its a time when you should be just having a bit of fun with no strings attached. Roll with it dude. Someone once told me, "Flaws are what make people beautiful", no ones perfect so just try to have fun. You've got your whole life ahead of you!! =D
     
  4. Jim1454

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    You're 15, so how could you possibly have had "so many Mr/Mrs. Wrongs"?
     
  5. don29002

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    Please at least READ my entry and background info on people who have entered my life.
     
  6. Filip

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    Nothing about your list of people either screams "Mr/mrs. wrong" or "Mr/Mrs Right" to me, though.

    That is to say: I'm sure there's a lot of passing infatuations with all kinds of people (as I guess we all have in highschool), but there's not a whole lot of follow-through.
    To me, it reads like a list of you kind-of being interested in someone, then hitting the first roadblock, then deciding "meh, not worth it. Moving on".

    So I think that what you should do is really take things more slowly. Not every person who looks nice/interesting needs to be a prospective date/partner.

    If you see someone you like (more than "he/she is kind of cute"), then sure, try to hang out more often and see if the good first impression gets confirmed. If it looks like real dating material, then try to go on a date.
    And don't obsess about things if they don't work out. It happens.
     
  7. Mad Man L

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    Filip is quite right in his answer, but I'll put in some of my own opinion.

    Firstly, very few find a 'Mrs. Right' by Grade 10. Seriously, I only know of a few of the people in our entire grade of ~250 people who had found some kind of "Mr/Mrs. Right." (But those couples have all broken up now).

    Secondly, you are treating anybody who you think is half-attractive who you walk away from at the first roadblock as a "Mr./Mrs. Wrong." Admittedly you "go" through "likes" pretty quickly (me on the other hand, I take months to get over people), but seriously, don't be so "Oh nothing is going right!"

    Thirdly, don't be in a rush to date. What I like to say is to follow your attraction. Now that may sound useless, but by that I mean don't go off "trying" to fall for people in hope to get a date. You're only 15, there is no huge rush to get into a relationship. I know I'm yet to go out with anybody, but then again, I've only ever fallen for a girl waaaaaaayyyyy out of my league and a straight guy, so I never exactly had a chance.
     
  8. Jim1454

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    OK. I've now read your post, and my initial comment stands. It doesn't sound to me like you've really had any relationships at all. You aren't really scraping below the surface in your interactions with these people. I don't mean to sound harsh - I'm 25 years older than you are, and into my second marriage.

    And as others have said - that's OK. At 15 you aren't expected to have found Mr. or Mrs. Right. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't even be trying.
     
  9. don29002

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    When you mean scraping below the surface do you mean like finding out if they're sincere about being friends or accepting me as bi, stuff like that? Or seeing if they're fake or not?
     
  10. Jim1454

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    I'm not sure what I meant, because I posted this almost 8 weeks ago. If you were interested in my thoughts or what I had to say, I would have thought you'd have followed up before now.
     
  11. don29002

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    Sorry for not following up when you wrote that 8 weeks ago.
    I'm interested now; I was then also but I was confused with your post then, except I didn't wanna admit it then.
    I'm not trying to be lazy, mean or seem like I have too much "pride" to admit things, but really this is how I felt about things.