internalized homophobia

Yeah, I still have it to some extent. I've gotten over most of it, though. It should be gone once I come out.

 

I had and it still do a little bit. Coming out hasn't solved it really.

 

I did until I came out completely. After I did that, I slowly lost my internalized homophobia. Actually, after that, I lost almost every judgmental bone in my body.

Example: One of my parents' friends and her husband came over for dinner the other night. Her husband has an amputated leg. I wasn't aware of this fact at that time. I came in the room when he was sitting, so I couldn't see his leg, or lack-there-of. When I looked down, I saw his "stump", and thought to myself "hm". It was that kind of "hm" that you utter when you hear something that doesn't really sunrise or concern you but that does warrant a reaction. After my mental "hm", I looked up again and never looked at his "stump" again that night. I never even eyed it subconsciously. I didn't realize that fact until the next day, and it sort of surprised me.

 

i would say i have int. homoph. towards myself. other gay people, i'm fine with, but myself...

 

*stares at orientation*

 

i dont have any internal homophobia, im completely fine with my sexuality and i always have been tbh so i never had this problem =]

 

What does Internalized Homophobia mean exactly?

 

^ means when you hate or fear your own homoseexuality, and other people's because it reminds you of yours.

I have to say I went through a period of self-loathing and feeling very creepy and guilty for looking at other girls. But now hey, I'm just like a creepy guy who looks at girls. ^^

Only kidding, it's only creepy if the person staring is not attractive.

A'wink.

 

Never heard of the expression before and thanks Level N Human for the explanation. That said, I've never experienced it.

 

I feared that a guy that was gay would go after me... Does that mean the same thing? Im not sure, I think that I'm thinking too openly.

I'm fine for being bi and other people and their sexualities. (But I guess, I don't want guys after me that I don't like myself...)

 

I never have personally, since I knew about my sexuality fairly early and accepted myself almost immediately, so I wasnt freaked out by myself. Leading from this, I never really got freaked out by other gay ppl.

 

Nah, I don't think I have.

I mean, I realized it at young age so it was not something I had hard time with. But I feared that what would happen to me if anyone finds out that I'm not straight...you know, living in where homos are not so welcomed or talked about:dry:

But sometimes I get freaked out by how other gay people act:lol: But that's a totally different story

 

I used to make jokes and stuff about it and gay people I knew, but never in a negative personal way... I guess I have always been pretty cool about it. Since I knew that I myself liked boys I wasn't too harsh on out dudes, but mostly feared what I didn't know.

I found, like someone else said, I'm WAY more open to even more, now that I'm out.

Even now, I'm proud of myself and my orientation.

 

I know that I still have some internalized homophobia. I am trying my best to get over it, and I really think that the more exposure to gay culture I get, the less I feel it. But I still tend to use negative words intended to descirbe homosexuals to degrade people, even though doing so makes me feel horrible. For instance, I was riding my motorcycle today and someone cut me off and I thought "watch where you're going you f*****." then the whole rest of the way home I was kicking myself for thinking that way because I know how it would make me feel for someone to say that to me.

I think it's mostly a product of being closeted so long. I grew up using those kind of slurs because, when you use them, other people tend to associate you with straight males. And all because you will use a homosexually degrading term to put someone down, gay or straight.

 

Hmm it seems natural for stuff like that to gradually go away. I use to ALWAYS call everything 'gay'. I didn't even grow up with people using it in a derogatory way either, I just started using it. I totally understand how people are becoming more aware and see that sort of thing as a negative, but I mean when you over do anything it upsets me. Nobody is perfect and sometimes when you get upset it just comes out or you just say it without thinking.

The important thing is to understand it can be taken as rude or negative. As long as your aware of the fact that it's something you really shouldn't do that is more important. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

i'm not trying to be hard on myself really. I just keep realizing how often it happens even though I am trying to make a conscious effort not to do it. I guess it's just been a habit for so long that it's taking a long time to go away. especially since I am not totally out and I fall back on it sometimes to help hide

 

Yes I do have it too :dry: Though it's gradually going away, but sometimes I'm still struggling with it. For ex. I still judge some gay people in a negative way and for that matter I'm still not entirely comfortable with myself...but I've been making huge progress in the last few months

 

i have always been supportive of gay rights, but i just find it hard for me to accept myself. i feel like a frauid and constantly worry that i'm not really gay, but part of me knows i am really. and level n human.... you are the bomb! :lol:

 

I dont really have that. I like the way I am although sometimes i will act..queenish just too fool around and stuff but i dont fear other homosexuals except like rely rely rely Queenish guys like" HAAAAAY HOW UUUUU DOOOOIN?" i jus laugh....guess i've been living a str8 life for too long. And it feels dam good to be out!