So since I started to come to terms that I might be gay, and then accepting Im gay, its all Ive been thinking about, its like consuming me, its getting harder to not check out a guy that passes by, and every time I do it I am more obvious about it (I almost got caught by a friend, the good thing is that two hot girls were there too) its also getting harder to pretend I like girls, I used to be good at it, now I cant show interest, its like I suddenly lost the ability to lie about it. Im desperate to tell someone, anyone, but I dont know who to tell, or how to say it :S I do know some friends that are ok with gay people, but I dont know how to tell them, and I feel that if I tell them, everything will change with them, cause I have been putting quite a show about liking girls, cause I talk to alot of girls, so my friends think I am good at getting girls, some even joke about this. So if I tell them its going to be like introducing a whole new person!! what do you guys think I should do?
I know how you feel. I've been there. With the who to tell thing, just start with one person who you feel comfortable telling and trust and go from there. If you don't think you could say it maybe write it down and show them (I tend to do that a lot with things I find hard to say to someone's face directly). And I don't think people will change the way they treat you or look at you or anything. A lot of times close friends get a vibe about things like that. Liken with my best friend was with a ton of guys but I had a feelings that's not what she really wanted or who she was and a few weeks later she came out to me as a lesbian. So don't stress too much over it. But just remember to do it when you're comfortable and ready to. Hope that helped.
well, i'm right where you were at except since the time that i actually brought this to light, it's like my attraction to women has come back around. i'm pretty much checking out every woman and at the same time, i might see a cute guy and get that feeling then go "oh oh", defense mode. it's like when i slightly opened the closet door, i got cold feet and jumped back in. right now, i feel really comfortable with myself right now being in the closet. don't feel like being involved with anybody right now romantically. this has really killed the the sex drive i never got to use to begin with. either that or the masturbation.
Some boys like boys and that's perfectly alright, and some girls like other girls and that's alright too. I personally feel like our sexualities are all beautiful and you really shouldn't worry about it. It really isn't a big deal. To me, it sounds like you're ready to take the plunge and come out. It seems really overwhelming, I know, but it really isn't and you'll feel so much better once you get this thing off your chest and in the open. What you should do is find a close friend, someone that you would trust with anything, and just tell them. You can write a letter and give it to them, text them, send them a message on Facebook, tell them in person if you want, just do it. You can swear them to secrecy then if you want to or not. When I was coming out I purposefully told the biggest mouth I could find and told her to spread the word. I thought it was easier that way since other people would bring it up for me and then I could just confirm it for them and I didn't need to give them any kind of explanation or anything. Just be honest when you tell this person too. You don't have to tell them your life story, just tell them how you feel. Don't worry about what people are going to say or not say about it either. There's a quote from somewhere, I can't remember, but it says: "People are going to talk about you whether you're doing bad or good, so do what you want." I think that's just so true. Plus, you're going to have to do this eventually so you might as well just get it over with and start living a genuine life now, none of us are getting any younger...
I agree with Kidd; first, you will feel a lot better when you tell someone, and also that you should choose somebody that you're really close to and trust, whether it be a friend, sibling, etc., and tell them. I chose my best friend, who is like a sister to me, and told her first. I knew I could trust her with anything. I get what you're saying about introducing them to whole new person, my best friend had absolutely no idea when I told her (and she knows me really well). So yeah it was a shock for her, but she didn't care at all. To be honest, I feel like our sexuality is just another factor of ourselves; not the defining characteristic. Remember, you're still the same guy that your friends have always known, the only difference is who you're interested in. And like Kidd said, don't be fretting over what people will think and say. I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who once said something like, "You can please all the people half of the time, and half the people all of the time, but you can't please all the people all of the time." You sound like you're ready to come out to somebody - so take the plunge! It's worth it. It may seem like a daunting task, but that's only because we make ourselves think it is.
Hi,you sound like you are ready to tell someone,but as most of us here have done ,you are overthinking the whole thing.Be cautious yes,work out who will be accepting and who you can trust. I have come to learn that straight people dont have to go through this,they never have to think about sexual orientation,so to them it is no big thing.If there sexual orientation is not a big deal on there mind,then yours shouldnt be either. When you decide who to tell,i would advise you to just drop it in the conversation as you would any other thing you are discusing,keep it confident and to the point,dont make it a big issue.If it doesnt bome accross as a big dark issue,chances are they wont take it as one and will just take it as something new they have learned about you. However daunting it seems to open up for the first time,it is well worth it for the relief you get afterwards.Keeping things to yourself,hiding who you are and having to lie to family and friends puts a great strain on your own mental health,so basicaly you are coming out for YOU and your own peace of mind.Dont let it get to the point where it is taking up all of your thoughts,playing on your mind 24/7,this is not a good place to be. Good luck
