She wants to be roommates - I want to be "roommates"...

Well, I guess it really come down to a matter of how her attitudes and opinions of LGBT people are. Has she ever expressed any opinions that would make you believe she isn't tolerant or that she doesn't like gay or lesbian people? See if you can work the subject subtly (which can be difficult, believe me I know) into a conversation & see how she responds. Maybe try discussing an interesting news event that concerns LGBT issues, like the repeal of DADT, & see how she responds. It may give you a clue as to how she may respond if or when you choose to come out to her. In my experience (I'm a musician & have spent a lot of time around musicians & other artists, actors, etc), people in the artistic, creative & performing arts tend to be a bit more open-minded than other people, so she may just surprise you. Now if she is cool with you being gay & still wanting to be roommates, this presents your next problem - living with her knowing you're attracted to her. If you think she can handle you coming out to her AND you disclosing that you're attracted to her, go for it. If not, you may just want to stay with coming out to her for a bit first & let her get used to it before you tell her you're attracted to her and definitely before you move in with her. Otherwise you'll end up being uncomfortable living with someone closely that you can't express how you truly feel about. Sorry I don't have more, but I hope this gives you a starting point to go from! And good luck!

 

I think if you are going to be living with this friend of yours, it would be a good idea to disclose to them that you are gay before you live together. It will give you the freedom to make you more open and happy once you do move, and if she is going to get upset about it, its better she do it now then when you are living together.

As for telling her you are attracted to her, I think if she asks you should be honest, but otherwise I don't see that as anything you should feel obligated to disclose to her. I would wait and get her reaction to hearing the initial information.

 

I think rooming with someone you have a crush on is a recipe for disaster. You'll be in very close proximity with her, which is likely to make you fall harder from her and it'll be impossible for you to avoid her, which is the best way of getting rid of a crush.

 

U sure shes straight ??

 

Okay, I was thinking "this is probably a bad idea", but this pushed it towards "Run, LikeMyCloset, RUN!"

I'm not saying that this person might not end up supportive if you come out to her, but you're better off finding that out before you room with her.

Otherwise you'll end up in a situation where you're constantly doubly afraid: afraid of being outed as gay, and afraid of your crush on her being found out. Which will make for an uncomfortable arrangement even at the best of times. And spending too much time together with an unattainable crush would probably cause more hurt than it's worth.

so the best counsel I can give here is: stay away from living together until you know she's fine with you being gay, and until you are over your crush on her.

 

I was in a very similar situation once (minus the potential homophobic reaction), and I'd agree with Liam that unless you have superhuman powers of control over your emotions, it could be a recipe for disaster. Even if she accepts you, and even if she's okay with your attraction to her, think about what it's going to feel like once she gets herself a boyfriend and brings him home and cuddles with him in her room next to yours. Probably not a position you want to put yourself in.

I'd strongly recommend that you look into other roommate options, and work on becoming more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality in a less emotionally volatile living space. (I'm also a hypocrite, because I didn't take my own advice at the time. So really, TRUST ME.)

 

I agree. This isn't "You know.....I lost your umbrella," this is turning out to be "you know...I know we've already moved in together and maybe it's a bit late to tell you, but I'm gay."

It's just not the best situation to put yourself into, you know? That sounds like something I would do, honestly, procrastinating something as important as this until the last minute and finally saying instead "You know...I lost your umbrella! ><" Lol!

I would advise telling her beforehand and then making plans to move in if everything checks out as a-ok.