Should I care what people think of me?

I don't know how to say it. I don't want to say you should be apathetic but that's almost what it takes. That's what I've done.

I think that's really, really true, and that's also one of my favorite things to say. Your mother never loved you? So what. Some people called you a fag? So what. You should know what you are and are not, and there are worse things to be called anyway.

These people that you think are going to be judging you don't have any answers, so why listen to any of them? They don't know you, so how could they possibly even begin to judge you in a real way? When you look at it that way, everything anyone ever says becomes meaningless noise. Not to mention, for every person out there that has something negative to say, there's going to be many more that are going to not only accept and tolerate you, but celebrate you for who you are, but you can't get or experience any of that in a genuine way until you've come out of the closet, so what are you waiting for?

 

As I see it, life's too short to care what others think about yourself. Chin up and don't let anyone step in your way.

And quoting Bill Murray in Lost in Translation:
"The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you"

 

I've never really cared what people have thought of me. I'm just me, and if people don't like it then they can go somewhere else.

 

Well if you are yourself and not who someone wants you to be then that makes the difference. If you listen to all the comments that people make about you then you aren't true to who you are. They may bug you for a while and that is normal. If the comments are coming from people who you were friends with then that just proves that they aren't your true friends.
Hold your head up high because it may be hard to deal with the comments but if you don't show that they bug you then eventually they will go away

 

can relate to what you're going through. do your parents know you're gay? at least you're out to somebody you know though. you don't really have to worry about strangers except the ones that are homophobic and might hurt you because they're insecure with themselves. wish i could tell someone around me that i know about what i'm dealing with.

 

People judge you better if you act like you don't give a shit when they judge you wrongly.

"Take it or leave it" isn't an inborn trait, it's a practiced habit. Unflinching self-confidence is a "fake it 'til you make it" sort of exercise.

One way that I used to help myself become more confident in school (this is going to sound so nerdy, but it works) was to pretend I was a prince in disguise. I probably would have taken a lot more shit, except that I literally walked around like I owned the place.

You can be so convincing you trick yourself.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PadmMZDXoqQ&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

 

I've been going through something simiar to this myself. It's important to make sure you're not living for these other people, you're going to do what you want to do because you want to. Like the others have said it's something learned and it takes time (I'm still working at it) but it'll get easier after you practice some.

You also got to think there are about 7 billion people on this planet, those are pretty good odds of finding at least one person who will support you if you don't have some already. There will be some who judge you negativlely but in the end you don't need them. Also, (and I think this is the most important) is that you have to like yourself. How are others going to think positively about you when you can't do it yourself? By being a constant positive source in your life it's easier to not let other people's judgments get to you.

I don't know if this helped at all, like I said I'm still learning this too, but I hope you can start to see that it doesn't matter what others think of you but what you think of yourself because that's really what matters most.

 

The title of this thread is "Should I care about what people think of me." If you say what you should do, you're just 'shoulding' on yourself. In other words, using the term "should" translates as "I'm already failing," or "what I'm doing so far is not enough," or "what I want to do is irrelevant!"

It's pretty normal to care what others think of you. The only problem is when you disregard your own opinion on yourself and accept the words of others as truth. Other people do not know what you're thinking, or why you act the way they do. Any judgement they bestow upon you usually says more about them than it does about you.

Rather than thinking "I should," try thinking "I want" or "I would like." That way you can keep in touch with yourself without the external pressure of what "should" be done. Try it. I dare you.

 

Right on, sounds like a plan!

Chin up!

 

when i was younger i would care too much what people thought and i would try to please people. however growing up i have noticed you cant please everybody and the only person that i should please is myself. so i started to not care. now i have this thing that me and my friends call the dgaf attitude. which is the i dont give a fck attitude. thats how we are. we are pretty much apathetic but not too much. lol..we dont care what people think. At school im myself. i dont care if people think im gay. i actually laugh when they think im straight. I check out guys without a care in the world, i have adam levine as my phone wallpaper, and i call my friend bitch. Thats as gay as i get. lol. and idgaf what people think. the only people that i do care about is my family. thats it. stranger can go suck it. lol. and this is how i think everyone should be. life is too short to live worrying about others...

i go by this quote...
"By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed."
- Albert Ellis

i think you should do what everyone is telling you. ignore them. hope you get over this