Hey guys So college is ending for me and I think its time for me to come out. I don't want to say I've "wasted any time" by not experimenting in college so i've accepted that. I'm just getting hte feeling that I don't want to go on much longer like this. On top of everything else that I have to deal with, knowing that I am in the closet when I appear straight is just making it that much worse. My deal is basically I don't know if I'm gay or truly bisexual. I know that only I can be the judge of that but it has been very hard for me to figure it out. Ive only been with girls up til this point and I have been sexually attracted to them and get erections and it's been all good. But i know that as long as I can remember, I have been aroused by guys and have fantasized about all that. I think my first step is to figure out what I really am and then getting advice on how to tell people. I've only really accepted this a few months ago so its still relatively new. I'm 22 years old about to be 23 and I think its time. I just don't know if I would say I am gay or bisexual to someone because I truly don't know. I'm thinking talking to a counselor first might help figure things out and it would be a good way to just say it out loud for the first time. Any help would be great. Thanks.
Welcome to EC ^.^ You don't have to be attracted to one sex over the other. You could be bi, which is perfectly okay. Seeing a counselor is a great idea and I encourage you to do it. So far from what I can tell you are going about this the right way. First you need to truly accept who you really are, then only when you comfortable with yourself you can start telling people close to you. A counselor is a good first person to tell, they aren't allowed to tell anybody else and they will offer you plenty of support. I know how incredible it can feel after you tell that first person, from that point on it just gets easier to tell people. I'm proud of you for accepting yourself for who you are, and remember that the entire EC community is here if you need any advice, help, or just want to chat. (*hug*)
i can relate and it's the worst feeling being confused. it's about finding that clarity because i too am not sure if i'm just gay or bisexual.
Well I went through this, and for me I'm attracted to guys. I can only get it up for girls when I'm drunk. Honest truth, and it's about the only time I would touch a girl. So I would say your most likey bi man. And don't be ashamed of it. keep you head high. Plenty of guys and girls love a bi man!!
First off, welcome! :smilewave I can relate to this. For most of my life, the only thing clear to me about my sexuality was that I wasn't straight. I've waffled in between gay and bi for a long, long time. In the beginning, I tried to convince myself that I was bi, but equally attracted to each sex. Alas, that wasn't true either. It's taken me a while to figure out that I'm pretty much gay, with a little bit of attraction to certain girls. Doing things with girls just is just alright. Like, it's tolerable, but I feel like I'm lacking, ehh, "sexual energy". It sounds to me from what you said that you're bi. You're obviously attracted to guys but you seem to be quite interested in women as well. Like Fugs said, a counselor would be a great first step. They can help you focus and clarify your thoughts. Really, the way I figured it out was after a lot of introspection and self-evaluation. Eventually, after years of thought, I've (pretty much) found the answer I was looking for. Good luck!
Thanks for the replies. I am meeting up with a friend tomorrow who is a bisexual female and she seems like a good person to maybe tell. Thing is I have been hooking up with her for like 3 years on and off haha. How exactly do I bring this up? I'm nervous as hell right now.
Well, if you're really nervous, you could always try writing it down and giving it to her. Another good thing is to just slide it right into conversation - try not to make a big deal out of it, however hard that maybe. Being like, "We have something in common, we both are bi! How about that?!" is probably better that "OHMYGOD I THINK I'M BI, GAHHHHH!" while hyperventilating and generally freaking out. Good luck!
Problem is I dont know what I am... Should I just say Im bi, im pretty confused but i think i may be. she might be freaked out tho casue weve had sex alot
Well if you're not really sure what you are, then perhaps you shouldn't rush in to telling her. Maybe a little more soul-searching is in order. It's generally a bad idea to come out to someone as anything, whether it be gay, bi, lesbian, trans, etc., if you're not even sure yourself that that's your orientation. I mean, perhaps she might be a little unnerved, but it's not like you'd be saying you only like guys. Plus she's bi herself, so she should be sympathetic to your plight.
Today came and went without me telling her. Would it be a bad idea to tell someone over the phone o through text? I know she would be cool with it since she now has a gf and had a LGBT flag in her room but Its just so hard for me to bring it up randomly. She kept saying things like 'as a straight guy like you' etc. I dunno what to do
Sure, it would be fine. A lot of people come out on Facebook chat, text, over the phone, email, etc. There's no rule saying you have to do it face to face. Do it in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable.
