i know... another one of these stories... but if i had not experienced this myself (p.s. i am STILL experiencing it) i would NEVER believe it... i am a gay guy, out and proud and i have tried my best to keep my dating to guys who are out of the closet... i fully respect the process of people "coming out"... but i have found it best to date those who have gone through the process... anyway, i am in a theater club and i was cast to be in a play with an actor, he is very attractive, but i was not INITIAlly attracted to him... anyway, as time went on, we became friends and i could tell he really really liked me... i liked him too, but he was REALLY driving our friendship forward... asking me to go see other plays with him, constantly standing near me or alluding to me and always always complimenting me... he would also touch my arms and hands as often as he could... he looked for excuses during scenes together and then ANY other opportunities he could get... for the record, i NEVER EVER responded that way... i laughed, enjoyed his company, but never touched him in ANY way... after all, he insisted he was straight... i respected that... well, time has moved forward... our show is over and we keep in touch mainly on email... we write long, serious friendly emails to each other... he always manages to toss in some comments that make me think he wants to be more than friends... but, just when he gets a little to emotional, or shows his hand... he will always toss something in about a girl he likes... i am not trying to be conceited, but this guys REALLY cares for me... i FEEL it... recently, we had a chance to get together, we went to a quiet spot and sat and drank for 5 hours... 5 hours, just fun and friendly chatter... it was completely enjoyable... again, he managed to touch my arms and my hands, linking our fingers once in a while... and he probed me about who iu was dating, if i slept with any guys recently... i hadn't, so i answered NO... anyway, at the end of the night, we walked out and before we went our separate ways... he alluded to making a plan and seeing a show together.. and he discussed another show we may be able to be work together in... well, the next night, i wrote him a really nice email... told him i had a great time... and that i enjoyed his company... i said i was glad we were becoming friends and that i am glad he can open up to me... i was pure, nice and sincere.... ok, he has NOT responded to me... it has been three days... my theory is -- he REALLY enjoyed himself.. he CLEARLY did.... he was the one who kept wanting to stay later and later... but now i think (in the light of the day!) he is "retreating"... regardless, i am so confused, so sad... of course, i would love for him to be gay and come out... (i DO believe he is gay deep down)... but, seriously, i really am happy with learning more and just being friends for now... it hurts me that he seems to have retreated... and my heart is just sorta aching... i was nothing but nice... and it feels weird to be be almost punished for that... i maintain, i have not ONE single thing to be be overt or make a pass at him... and (meanwhile) he has done many to me... i know this was long, i am sorry... i would really love some opinions or advice... thinking about all of this has become a burden... thanks for listening... let me know... matt...
Matt, Matt, Matt, I'm in the same boat, well sort of. My guy is a former supervior from work. And well he was underage at the time I worked with him, And I don't date kids. But the years have gone by and he found me on facebook. Well we do the same things you and your future ex husband do, and then today he tells me he's at home playing his xbox and his x g/f is over and she brought clothes to spend the night, and I shouldn't have a problem with it. Well... you know I do.... (but I didn't say anything). If I was in your shoes I would put him on the spot. I'm a hold nothing back kinda guy. I'd be like "look your a great friend and all, but we got some serious chem up in here and I need to know if this could be anything more. Cause there's a line at my store and the ticket machine is empty and I need to know if I should re-fill it or put that out of order sign on it" if you know what I mean. Heck he's lead you on this long, go for it. The worst he can say is no, but you'll still be his friend!! Good luck AJ
This is a tough one, I've lost count of the amount of guys who "just have to be gay" that continue to stay infuriatingly straight. The problem i often find is when you begin to like them you start to notice every touch, interpret having a good time with you as actually liking you in more than a friendship way and to be honest in my experience I have had guys who will cuddle in bed after a night out, touch me all the time, call me to hang out all the time...and they are just being friends. If you see straight guys hanging out they often get very touchy feely (the most confident ones) and they hang out together drinking for hours too. My advice? wait a little longer, three days is not a long time to reply to an email for some people. I hope he does come out as gay and you get together with him, but for the time being, just assume he's straight and be his friend...and if it eventually leads to more i will be very happy for you!
straight guys cuddle with gay guys ALL NIGHT ? ok, these new rules are really gonna have me lose it... ha ! i have already found the two offerings here quite helpful... it means a lot... i am so annoyed that this situation is taking so much emotional energy from me... i feel so ridiculously immobilized... it is just so odd to me that a person would have such an enjoyable evening... i paid, by the way... and he would accept my kind words (via email) about what a great time we shared... and say nothing... i am torn between feeling like i was DUPED... and/or feeling like i am supposed to believe some of these theories i have heard... example -- when closeted guys area round someone they really care about, they don;t have the words to express what they are feeling, so they go silent/retreat... both hurt.... i would really love to hear any and everybody's thoughts and theories about all of this... and i deeply appreciate anyone who takes the time to help... normally, i am a pretty strong, opinionated, rational person... believe it or not... ha !
