Okay so basically my first relationship just ended We began seeing each other (just going to dinner, etc) about 2 months ago and I thought everything was going great. We would text every night before bed, hang out together and see each other at work occasionally. So about 3 weeks ago we decided to become an official couple (my first boyfriend!!!). The next day we planned to go see a movie and afterwards spend the night at his place, which we did. (This is where it gets messed up) So after we spend the night together (no sex just cuddling and yeah...) we are on the way to the city and he tells me that he wants to go back to being 'just friends' (after being a couple for 3 days) because he woke up that morning and felt differently about me all of a sudden. He told me that he still had feelings for me and that maybe we could get back together in the future. Obviously, I'm devastated not just for losing my boyfriend but I am feeling like there is something wrong with me that I cant have proper relationships or something (3 days wth)... But I was also optimistic about getting back together... stupid, stupid me. I wont go into details about how I know this but he is seeing someone else now. He has not told me about it. Although we did not say that we wouldnt see other people explicitly, I feel like he has betrayed me slightly. I know he cant choose when to find someone but its hard that he has moved on so ridiculously quickly when I've spent the last 3 weeks crying. Anyway, at the end of the day he is a good boy (I really know it) and I want him to be happy, if he cant be happy with me than I think he's better off. I want to stay close friends with him but I've never thought of him as 'just a friend'. I suppose what I'm asking is: What do you guys think I should do to stay friends but not get my hopes up about him (EVER). I dont have any good gay friends and I want him to be there for me to talk to (and me for him). Sorry if this is long. Oh I forgot, we text pretty much every day. After we broke up we still text each other but its always me texting him and I stopped when I found out about that other guy. If i dont text him the only contact I will have with him is at work (like once a week). I will see him next on Saturday and am maybe planning on having a serious talk with him about moving on etc... so scared.
First off, take a deep breath, everything will be okay. I think you should just be forward with him. Tell him that while you enjoyed the short time you were a couple you think it be best you guys just remain friends. Just try to stop thinking of him as more than a friend and count yourself lucky to have him in your life as just a friend. Good friends are hard to come by. He can be that one gay friend you're lacking in your life. There doesn't need to be awkwardness between the two of you. I know this is easier said than done, but I'm sure talking things out with him will make it clear. Good luck.
When you have your first relationship for just 3 days, I don't think its end should make you fear that you'll never have another one. I mean, who knows what this guy is thinking. If I was to make a harsh guess, it'd be that he met this new guy while he was with you, liked him more, and came up with his 'wake up and feel differently' line. But even if true, he'd never admit that. So for now, keep your distance. I realize that you want to have gay friends, but I think you need to stay apart (not text, not see each other much if at all) to be able to move on and build friendships and possible relationships with other guys. Maybe someday, when you are in a better state of mind, you could entertain becoming friends again.
