I'm having a hard time expressing what I'm feeling in this post (which is what this post is about *irony*) I'm a very private person who doesn't like to share emotions. In fact I have a very hard time expressing what I'm feeling and the vast majority of the time I just don't. Basically I bottle everything up and don't talk about my feelings. I just kinda feel like being gay is just another thing that I don't talk about on top of everything else so why should this be the thing that I have to go around telling people? I need to be able to talk about my emotions in order to be able to come out and at the moment if somebody asks me 'how are you' my reaction is always 'fine', no matter how I feel. It got to the point where I've broken down into tears and when my best friend tried to ask me why I just kept saying 'I'm fine' until she gave up asking. Also, I feel as if it's not important how I feel about things or the fact that I'm gay. Like, it's not worth telling people cos they wouldn't care. I have no idea what I'm on about. I think what I'm asking for help about is how to talk about myself? just ignore me...
NO! I won't ignore you, because that's likely the problem. You've got to the point where you think so little of yourself that you assume everyone thinks that of you. As a result, it would make sense that nobody would care about how you're feeling or how you're doing. But that would be incorrect. Your friend badgered you to the point of tears to try and understand how you were feeling - so they obviously care. I'd bet that your parents care too. That's their job! So you absolutely should try to tell people how you're really feeling about things. They are legitimate feelings, because you're feeling them. That doesn't mean that you have to come out to everyone - but if you're scared or nervous or angry about your orientation, it would be good to talk to someone about it.
I get how you feel, its like you want to say something but.. you just don't, or can't, or feeling like something is holding you back right?
