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Am I normal?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011.

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  1. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I was born a man but I feel I was born in the wrong body. When I am alone I dress and act like a woman. I feel very fem and have my penis. Am I normal?

    ---------- Post added 24th Sep 2011 at 11:15 PM ----------

    I am also attracted to women as female. It feels good and I am very turned on by looking at myself in the mirror when I am dressed as a girl. I have chosen a female name for myself. Abby.
     
    #1 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  2. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! Yes, you are normal! The feelings you have described are perfectly normal and you have discovered something that will allow you to get to know yourself in ways that can be quite wonderful.

    You have figured out that you are someone else in a body in which you don't feel comfortable. From what you have written it is seems clear that you have figured out that you feel to be a female and that you are much more comfortable in being a female. That is already quite an important step. As you go through the transitioning process, you will discover a whole range of things about yourself that will make you stronger as a person.

    I think it would be a good idea to read and educate yourself about a possible transitioning process and maybe read about or talk to others who have gone through the process. The more you know about it, the easier it will be on you. (*hug*)

    Oh... and welcome to Empty Closets! :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Mirko, Sep 25, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2011
  3. MyDecember

    MyDecember
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    (*hug*)
    I had the chance to ask a renowned sexologist in my area one question this year.
    I asked him what was the most common question or worry people came to see him for.
    The answer he gave me blew my mind.
    The most common question by far was "Am I normal?"
    Which suggests that If you have to ask it then you probably are as normal and human as they come.

    True story.

    Not the best at advice for your topic though
    sending love some love though.
    (*hug*)
     
    #3 MyDecember, Sep 25, 2011
  4. Eleanor Rigby

    Eleanor Rigby
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    Hi Abby,

    yes, of course, you're normal. You happen to be transgender, but that in no way means you're abnormal. The first thing that defines us is not our gender, nor our sexual orientation, it's the fact we're all human beings. Among human beings some are straight and some are gay (or bi, or pansexual, or asexual, or curious), some have a body that matches their gender identity and some don't (or identify with both genders, or happen to be interest...)
    There are plenty of other people who are just like you.
    I can only encourage you to talk to the other transgender members on EC. I'm sure you'll realize that those people who struggle as much as you do with their gender identity and/or sexual orientation, are lovely and wonderful human beings.

    Take care, (*hug*) Cécile
     
    #4 Eleanor Rigby, Sep 25, 2011
  5. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I want to change my body to fit my mind and soul. I am a lesbian and feel trapped in a cage. I want to lose some old parts and get brand new ones! I love women just not as a man. I want to kiss and have sex with a women as a women.
    I am still trying to understand true self. I want Abby to become the woman she really is.
     
    #5 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  6. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there!

    If you are still trying to understand your true self, I think it would be very important to reach a point where you can see yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, "yes, I fully understand my true self." If you haven't done so yet, I think it would be a good idea to start talking to a counselor about your feelings and emotions that you have about yourself and how you see yourself.

    You have already started working towards it. Even though your physical appearance hasn't changed much yet, you are starting to become (at least from the sounds of it) emotionally ready to go through the transitioning process and have started to follow your thoughts and instincts about yourself. It is important that you do take your time and the time that will be required to go through the process.
     
    #6 Mirko, Sep 25, 2011
  7. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I am so happy now. Your mind is the real you. Not you body. That is just the shell!
     
    #7 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  8. J Snow

    J Snow
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    There is no true definition of what makes someone normal. you may not always fit the average, but that doesn't mean you are abnormal. There are others out there just like you and you should do what makes you happy. If that makes you different, then forget blending in.
     
    #8 J Snow, Sep 25, 2011
  9. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    Also can I be very frank on here?
     
    #9 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  10. J Snow

    J Snow
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    Well, I don't know what that entails, but I would think you have something you wish to express it would probably be a good non judgmental place to do it.
     
    #10 J Snow, Sep 25, 2011
  11. Eleanor Rigby

    Eleanor Rigby
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    yes of course :slight_smile: as long as you stay respectful to other people and respect EC's COC you're welcome say whatever you want here :slight_smile:
     
    #11 Eleanor Rigby, Sep 25, 2011
  12. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I understand. I will post what I want to say later on. I also will tell you more about myself. Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean so much to me!
     
    #12 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  13. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I think that what I want to say might just break the rules. So I will just keep it to myself.
     
    #13 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  14. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I fell asleep for a bit and had a dream... In it my plumbing changed and my chest grew! My voice changed and my face and hands changed too! I found love with a woman who taught me the little things about being a girl!
    She loved me for me! The first thing she said to me was that I am real and I am normal! I am truly female!
     
    #14 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  15. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I hope That you guys were not offended by my last post about my dream.
     
    #15 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  16. Eleanor Rigby

    Eleanor Rigby
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    There is absolutely nothing to be offended about in your dreams. I think it was a very positive dream and I think it means that your mind is starting to processing the fact it's ok to be who you are.
    I am really sorry, I have the feeling I have been scaring you posting Ec's COC. You really can tell us anything you want about how you feel and in case you have a doubt about the fact what you want to post is appropriate or not, you can always post in Ask the Staff first to check with the Staff team if that's ok. But I'm sure that whatever you want to post about is fine on EC.

    Take care, (*hug*) Cécile
     
    #16 Eleanor Rigby, Sep 25, 2011
  17. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I am just trying to be polite and be a lady. It takes a lot more to scare me. I like to think would I want to read something before I post it.
     
    #17 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  18. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    Ok here goes. When I make love to my wife (yes I am a married man) I fantasize that we are both lesbians. She does not know about this. I love doing that. It has felt right for a long time and now I know why.
    When I am on my own I am always dream of being a woman.
    Abby
     
    #18 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
  19. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! I am not sure where the fire is, but so far everything you have said (or rather written out) is within the guidelines of the Code of Conduct. I think you are making way too big a deal out of this. :slight_smile:

    If it has felt right for a long time and now you have figured out as to why this is the case, perhaps the time has come for you to be honest with yourself and with your wife. From what you have written out, it is clear (at least to me) that you are on your way to becoming ready to go through the transitioning process and the live the life that you want to live and feel is right for you. Coming to the realizations that you have, that is already pretty awesome. Yep, you are on cloud nine at the moment, but it might be in your interest to start coming down from it just a little bit, and start thinking about what you need to start doing in order to become the person you feel is inside of you.

    As I have mentioned above, now that you have become aware of an important part of yourself, and have all kinds of hints and clues, perhaps the time has come for you to seek some counseling on the transitioning process, making sure that you know exactly what will be coming towards you.
     
    #19 Mirko, Sep 25, 2011
  20. Abbysanewgirl

    Abbysanewgirl
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    I can't open up to my wife just yet! I will when the time is right.
     
    #20 Abbysanewgirl, Sep 25, 2011
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