I guess I should start with the purpose of this thread first and foremost--I can't bring myself for the life of me to talk about my feelings! >< It's really awful, and I've even created a front over the last few years because of it. I don't know why this is or what happened in the past to make me think this way, but even if I'm dying to tell someone what's bothering me, I force myself to swallow it and build up my pent up frustrations! It's supposed to help when you talk to someone about your problems, but in my case, it actually makes me feel worse for burdening someone else with my issues. It's almost like how I am with money--I always save it up until it's time to spend it on something I really want or really need, and then I feel guilty and wasteful for spending it! I'm perfectly fine listening and working out other people's problems, however (and spending money on others, lol). What can I do to get it to feel more natural and actually get what needs to be said out of my mouth??
First of all change your mindset of being a burden on someone when you talk about your problems your only just talking your not asking for a kidney... Talking to someone does help vent your problems and gets you to do something about it. And if you buy something that you really need or want then that is not a waste.
Expressing your emotions to someone is a sign of trust. I think most people would be more flattered that you feel comfortable expressing your emotions to them then down because you have problems. I bet you'll become closer to your friends if you are open with them =)
Talk to a counselor or a therapist. I've been having the same trouble lately and I've started seeing a counselor, and just talking to her makes me learn more about where all the negative thoughts and feelings come from without feeling like I'm burdening someone. After all, that's his/her job =P
I have struggled with this same problem for years. I was always everyone else's go to person for advice but I was never able to share my own problems and take care of myself. I made the decision to start seeing a counselor at my school when it became too much. Since then I have learned to open up a lot more. You'll be surprised at how small a problem will seem once you get it out there and talk about it. So many times just having someone listen makes you feel so much better. I also journal/write a lot and that helps a ton.
Thank you all very much! ^-^ Honestly, I'd rather eat broken glass than go to the school shrink, and I keep telling myself so, but that's a major pride issue I have that I need to get past. It's almost as though I'm somehow surrendering and saying I don't have what it takes to deal with my personal problems on my own by breaking down and going there for help. And yet here I am--a still newbie member of EC and asking advice for that very reason! I hope you all will encourage and inspire me to stand on my own when I'm strong enough and give me a shoulder to lean on when I can't. Thank you very much for your support!(*hug*)
my best friend has this problem. i told her once that i feel like our friendship isn't equal on both sides...i feel like i'm always talking, she's always giving me advice, but she never reciprocates. i never get to answer her questions and help her with her problems. and she feels the same way you do-- she doesn't want to burden me, and idk if you feel this way too but she feels really self-conscious about herself and doesn't want anyone to know she has problems. so just remember that people feel honored and flattered when others ask them for advice. if you need to talk to someone about something, they'll feel good that you went to them for it. i feel great when my best friend comes to me because then i know that she trusts me and values our friendship.
I've struggled, and still have struggled a bit with the same problem. I don't like telling people how I'm feeling because I'm scared that they won't care, or think I'm just complaining too much. It really has begun to affect me as well, as I feel really depressed. But recently, I've been really opening up to my best friend about things, and that's helped me through a lot. It's good when you find that one person who really listens to you. I would suggest to you to just go and find a person who you a really close with and can trust, and just start talking. If they really care about you, they will want to listen and help.
